My Disability Story

 
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I have sat down to write this piece countless times in the last year. It’s hard to write a story that has been playing out since I was born, a story that’s still being written. I keep having trouble figuring out how to start this, when really, I know exactly how it needs to begin.

I am disabled.

I don’t know why that’s a sentence that in my adulthood, I struggle with. I’m not ashamed or sad, not embarrassed or trying to hide it. It’s not a dirty word. I think sometimes I feel like I don’t deserve to say it. I spent years trying to disprove it. I tried out for teams for sports I knew I couldn’t play. I’ve walked further than my known limit and spent the next day bedridden, only because I didn’t want to speak up. I hesitate using my handicap sticker most days. When you’re growing up, you just want to fit in. But everything about my physical being was designed to stand out.

I was born with severe clubbed feet. It’s a condition in which feet are twisted out of shape or position. For me, rather than facing forward, my feet were positioned inward. Clubbed feet can be extremely debilitating and affect how your whole body moves, especially a growing body. I had serial casting as a baby to try to correct it, but it didn’t take. I spent years in physical therapy, having my feet painfully manipulated. I had a few procedures, I was never without a leg brace, ankle brace or foot inserts, all fitted to my bulky orthopedic shoes. I wanted jelly sandals more than anyone should ever want jelly sandals.

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In fourth grade, I underwent two tendon transfers, one on each foot. By moving the tendons, doctors hoped my feet would have more flexibility and a full range of motion. I spent most of that year in a wheelchair, recovering from each procedure. It was incredibly painful, both physically and emotionally. I could barely do anything on my own. Two of my classmates, Laura and Clarence helped me day-to-day. They pushed me in at my desk, back-and-forth to different classes, and out to the sidewalk at recess. I mention this because I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the responsibility put on two other children to help me, and it brings tears to my eyes.

After getting the cast off from my second transfer on my right foot, I was elated to gain some of my freedom back. I was excited to walk around the halls, and learn to move with my new feet. About two weeks later, I asked my teacher if I could use the bathroom. Walking back to class, I tripped over my new bulky sneakers. I tried, but couldn’t get back up. I crawled back to my classroom. My mom took me back to the doctor the next morning, I had snapped the very tendon they just fixed. I had an emergency surgery the following morning, and was back at school in my wheelchair within a week.

Fourth grade was the beginning of a youth filled with surgeries, doctor’s appointment, pain. The clubbed feet had been mostly corrected, but I had a plethora of other orthopedic issues. I developed Osteopenia from all the time off my feet and in hospitals. My bones were weak, my feet and legs usually in pain, making walking still difficult. In middle school, I would fracture my ankle, get stress fractures in my feet. I had more procedures, more physical therapy, still no jelly sandals.  My mom, sister and I trucked along and all of this became our normal.

By the time I was a freshman in high school, I had started dislocating my knees. If you have ever dislocated a knee, you know the pain is incomprehensible. It’s excruciating and bizarre to feel your kneecap in your thigh. The second time it ever happened, my friends and I were throwing a summer party in my friend Leah’s backyard. We sent out handmade invites, had food and planned games. We were playing capture the flag when I stepped to turn around and felt it immediately. I started to fall to the ground, and my boyfriend at the time caught my head from hitting the pavement. I was screaming for someone to call an ambulance, and heard my friend Sara panicking to call one. When one arrived, they started an IV right in the driveway, in front of all my friends. I was mortified and in unbearable amounts of pain. By Monday, I was at school in a wheelchair again with a stiff full leg brace. Both my mom and I knew I couldn’t live like this.

Sophomore year of high school, my mom and I traveled all around trying to find a doctor to diagnose my pain, to figure out why my knee kept slipping out. We went to clinics in Grand Rapids, drove to Shriner’s Hospital in Chicago, flew to New York for the day to see a specialist. We went back to my old doctor who had done my original tendon transfers, who looked me in the eye and told me my best option would be to amputate my feet as this point. I was sixteen. I cried, and I’m sure my mom did too.

Now a Junior, we were referred to a doctor at Providence Hospital in Michigan, Dr. Michael Mendelow.  We were exhausted from trying to figure out this painful mystery. My mom came with a big shopping bag of medical records, X-rays, doctor’s notes. He examined me and said to leave him with the overflowing bag. About three weeks later, he called us to come back in. After studying my X-rays, he found that the bones in my leg were turned in at an angle of about 25-30 degrees, a normal leg is less than 15. The angle of my leg, now fighting the position of my feet, were constantly fighting one another, causing my knees to dislocate. My legs and feet were working against one another.

He said I needed a tibial and femoral osteotomy- cutting the bones in my leg, repositioning them, and setting them with an external fixator so that they grew back at the proper angle. When I look back on it, I didn’t ask a ton of questions (My mom did, I probably just played Snake on my flip phone). I don’t even think I knew what an external fixator was. I just chalked it up to another surgery. We scheduled the surgery for my left leg (my more troubled leg) for right before Christmas.

I barely remember being in the hospital after the operation. The only thing I recall, is asking my mom to move the blanket so I could look at my leg. She hesitated. She pulled it back, and I could not comprehend what I was seeing. My left leg had a Sci-Fi looking device coming out of it. Not on top of it or covering it, but protruding out from my skin. I had eight metal rods going through my bones, sticking out through my skin, set with big black bars. It started at my ankle and went up to the top of my thigh. I also had a cast on my foot, as another surgery was done to correct the tendon by my big toe. I couldn’t move. They sent me home on Christmas morning — I had to be taken home by ambulance. When we got home, I couldn’t stand up, let alone go up the stairs. I slept on the couch in the living room, my mom frantically ordered a hospital bed for our living room, and Frank, my mom’s partner, set up a wheelchair ramp on the front porch. I was in an excruciating amount of pain, clouded by multiple medications. But I can’t imagine what my mom must have been feeling. To see your child in such agony, incapacitated and crying, she had to have been hurting, exhausted, and in pain herself. But still, I think I only heard her cry once, when my friend Sara came over and held her in an embrace in the kitchen.

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Once the hospital bed came a few days later, our living room became my room. My mom removed the couch, and taped Jonas Brothers posters on the wall among get well soon cards from friends and classmates. I ate all my meals in that bed, and quickly embraced humility as my only way to use the bathroom was with a bed pan. A physical therapist came to the house every other day to get me to stand up. I couldn’t return to school, so a teacher came over to deliver all my assignments. My friend Brittany came over to tutor me in math. I cleaned my incisions every morning and night, wanting to throw up every time I looked down at those gaping holes in my leg, each filled with a metal pin. I lost too much weight, unable to keep most food down from the pain medications.  My sister would make me milkshakes made with ice cream, “Boost” and girl scout cookies. Just when I thought I had met my pain threshold, I got kidney stones from the lack of movement and was rushed back to the hospital. I got bed sores, had sponge baths and missed my friends. Come February, I was moving more. I could get up with the help of a walker and get to the bathroom. My mom would make me get up and try to dance while we watched “America’s Best Dance Crew.” Friends were coming to visit, my boyfriend came over for Sadie Hawkins and we ate take out in my living room. By March, I wanted to go back to school. I was assigned a school aid who would take me from class to class (Brenda, if you’re reading this, I love you). For the first few weeks, my mom would have to leave work to come help me use the bathroom (one of the only perks was being allowed to use the staff bathroom, which I was amazed had lots of lotions and cool stuff in there). A handicap accessible bus would take me to and from school every day, my mom or Frank unloading me back into bed when I got home. By the time summer came, I started walking again, and I was doing great in physical therapy. I bought big voluminous skirts to cover my pins, wheeled around the mall, went to a Jonas Brothers concert, and even went to student government camp (I don’t think my mom breathed the entire 5 days I was gone). While my external fixator was only supposed to stay in for a few months, my bones weren’t growing back together as quickly as they’d like, and four months turned into nine. This was our new normal, and we got really good at managing it. I went back to school for my Senior year and got my pins out in September, right in time for Homecoming. Getting the external fixator out was relatively painless. I used a cane for another 6 months and told my mom I couldn’t imagine getting the right leg done any time soon (more than 10 years later, I still haven’t).

Maybe you’ve noticed that sprinkled throughout this long story, I’ve mentioned people who have helped me. The handful or so that I’ve mentioned doesn’t even begin to scratch the surface of the kindness I have received throughout my life. Kids were rarely mean to me. There was the occasional inquisitive, rude remark, but nothing scarring. Classmates would offer to push me in the halls, and help me get my lunch. Sara would come over almost every day after school with a bag of junk food and catch me up on all the gossip. Brittany would come over to watch “Gossip Girl” and help me with math (I am still horrible at math- Brittany could only do so much). My friend Mike took me to Winter Ball, where he and my friend Gerald danced around my wheelchair (Gerald now dances in Lady Gaga videos) all night. When I went to ACT practice, two boys from my class carried me into the tutor’s home because she didn’t have a ramp. My mom and my cousins would rent a wheelchair van for the day so we could go to the movies. My sister’s boyfriend would come over to help wash my hair. Her friends would prank call me pretending to be Christina Aguilera or Britney Spears wishing me well. There are endless examples. What I’ve gone through was no doubt hard as hell. There were some days I didn’t know how I could keep going, but looking back, I rarely measure it in pain. I measure it in unassuming, pure kindness.

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I haven’t had a surgery since 2007. I’ve been managing my disability for over 10 years. I’ve been battling severe arthritis and chronic pain in both feet that can be debilitating some days. I can’t walk long distances, and I usually can’t stand for longer than 15 minutes (which is why I use a wheelchair when we travel or go places that require a lot of walking). I can’t run, or do any activities that could risk my right kneecap popping out (which it did, four months before I got married). I’m often limping around and some days I physically cannot get out of bed without holding onto walls. My husband has become my best advocate, encouraging me to always speak up about my limits and my pain. Reflexology has helped me immensely.

I spent most of my youth trying to fight the different orthopedic limits that made me different. But as an adult, I’m accepting that those things, while painful, are a part of me. My disability isn’t an add-on or something that happened to me, it’s something that is me. I am proud of how far I’ve come, knowing how low I’ve been. I am proud of my family, who tirelessly supported me and never made me feel like burden. I’m proud to have friends who are always aware that when we go out I may need to sit down, or they’ll map out if a walk will be too long for me. I’m proud of my husband, who has pushed me in a wheelchair around the world and has held my feet while I cried. But what I am most proud of, is that I am finally accepting who I am. I am disabled, I am fighting, I am happy, I am okay, I’m just beginning.

dust

 
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Don’t worry- I’m not going to start this post with an “I’m back after a little hiatus!” bit. I’ve played it and it’s gotten old. The truth is, I just stopped writing. Not because I didn’t enjoy it or have anything to say, but simply because life got busy. Right after I published my last post in November, I finally got a job in Nevada. A job I love, and I decided early on I would give it my all. I put all my focus not just into my job, but also my marriage, which was finally back on the ground after a difficult move, and immersing myself in our new community. The last few months have flown by, and it’s almost a year-to-date that we found out we were leaving Detroit. And guess what? I’m happier than I’ve ever been, and it completely snuck up on me.

In all my contentment, I still I felt an itch to put pen to paper again (I write all my posts in a notebook before typing. Eat your heart out, Shakespeare!!!) Every day when I would walk into my closet, I would pass a framed copy of “The Nines” logo that my friendly so sweetly made me for my birthday one year. I would walk by it, think “I should write soon”, and then just go in my closet and get distracted by a sweater. But yesterday as I walked past it, I noticed all the dust that had accumulated around the frame, and it hit me. I was letting the dust collect around something I loved. I gave up on something that was supposed to be growing. And in true “Carrie Bradshaw” style (even though she is THE WORST, don’t get me started) , I had to wonder “When being content stunts your growth-is it really such a good thing?”.

No-one made me stop writing. It was actually the opposite. My husband would ask if there was anything new to read, my boss said she really enjoyed my writing. I feel supported by the people around me. But I used all the things going on in my life as a crutch to avoid doing something that was enjoyable, but required a lot of effort. I was so busy with life and happy with just-the-way-things-were that I forgot that growth requires doing. That in order to have a voice, you have to speak. I neglected the piece of me that loves to talk about women’s rights and skincare and how not needing a bra until 8th grade ruined my self esteem- we’ll get to that later, OH WILL WE EVER!

This post isn’t about “being back, guys!”. It’s meant to serve as a reminder that if you have let dust collect around something you love, something that makes you who you are-you can always clean it off and pick it back up. You can also hire a cleaning company. That has no double meaning- the dust was so alarming that we literally hired a cleaning company. Talk soon. xx

One Year.

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When were engaged, Michael and I heard from so many couples: “the first year of marriage is the best of your life!”. But what we rarely heard, was the honesty of all the changes that come with being a newly married couple. Instagram photos and tributes to our spouses can be deceiving, so today, on our first wedding anniversary, I wanted to write my version of a love letter to my husband.

One year ago, Michael and I got married. It truly was the happiest day of our lives. I didn’t think I could love him any more than in the moments we exchanged our personal vows. We went on our honeymoon in Hawaii, embraced in marital and tropical bliss. Our first Christmas together was magical, and I loved ringing in 2018 with a bottle of champagne from the comfort of our own couch. The marital rumors were true- I was happier than I had ever been.

In the Spring, Michael and I started to get restless. We had been living in our rented condo for almost two years at this point, and were looking ahead to the future in terms of our careers. We knew it was time to start making moves. We imagined staying in the area, buying a house, getting a dog, or FIVE! Or maybe we would move to a big city and live the life for a few years. It was on my lunch hour one day in March that Michael called me and said he was put up for a great new position in Las Vegas. Through the decision to take the job and move, our marital bliss slowly faded away. When faced with a big, life-changing decision- that’s when our marriage got real. By April, we packed up the condo and moved our things across the country. I moved in with my parents, and Michael commuted back and fourth between Detroit and Las Vegas. Tensions were high, the situation was less than ideal. Michael loved his new job, but I was weary of a new home and career uncertainty.

We finally made the full move in July, and while things have been exciting and new, some days have been a struggle. It isn’t this cinematic picture of marriage, romantically eating pizza on the floor surrounded by moving boxes. The image I had in my head of what marriage should look like wasn’t matching our reality. It made me wonder if we were failing in our first year.

Looking back on the past year, I now can see with full clarity, that my marriage is perfectly real. In the times that we struggled, that was when we decided how we will be as husband and wife. After every serious talk or disagreement, my husband showed me beautiful comfort and unconditional understanding. I gave him compassion and unwavering faith. I truly feel that we both emptied ourselves for one another in this year, in the most wonderful way possible. Here today, in a coffee shop on the other side of the country, I can honestly say that I love Michael more today than I did on our wedding day. There is no Instagram tribute or Facebook post that could explain how closely I will hold this year to my heart. I will look back on the days I came home crying (didn’t have to look back very far, as it was probably last week), losing faith in myself and my career, only to be laughing an hour later, feeling completely renewed by viewing myself through my husbands’ eyes. 

There is no perfect marriage. You’re going to argue, disagree, maybe even slam a door (I’m an Italian Aries, sorry!!!). Life is great when it’s moving smoothly and seamlessly. House, dog, steady job. But if you’re lucky, it’s in the moments of change, the moments of complete uncertainty and risk, that you really realize how wonderful love and marriage can be.  It was in the struggle that I truly saw how beautiful our life will be together. Not because we’re perfectly married. But because for the first time, I feel that we both gave each other absolutely everything we had. And in return? We made a life, together. When they say “the honeymoon is over!”, good. That’s when the good part really begins.

In our vows, I told Michael that he is my greatest gift. It’s never been truer than it is today. Happy first anniversary, Michael.

Gift Guide GIVEAWAY!

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Didn't get what you wanted for Christmas (I don't know why socks get such a bad rap. I got two new pairs and I am PUMPED)? The Nines is here to help! To celebrate the end of the local gift giving series, here's one big, local loving giveaway!

 

What it includes:

1 Neroli candle from Detroit Rose

1 Citrus, 1 Hibiscus, and 1 Pineapple Jalapeno cocktail mixer from Wolf Moon Mixers

A laundry bundle from The Old White House, including linen spray, dryer sachets, laundry soap and a scoop!

 

How to Enter:

Head over to my Instagram, @alexandramauro, FOLLOW and TAG a friend in the comments of the most recent post (photo of a Neroli Candle)! By following/commenting, you will be automatically entered to win. Winner will be announced Thursday, 12/29. 

 

Regardless of the winner, I hope that this series inspired a few of you to start shopping local. I love to give, and giving local this holiday season made it that much sweeter. That, and the chocolate Santa overdose that took place.

Good Luck! 

 

Detroit Rose

WHO WE'RE GIFTING... Your Girlfriends or Sister.

(let's face it, you're going to want some too)

 

There's not much I enjoy more than beauty, skincare, candles, and Disney Channel Original Movies. When I stumbled upon Detroit Rose, and it checked three of those four boxes (the last one was out of their control)- I was instantly hooked. 

My love affair started with the candles. If I am home, I am burning a candle. I would have really thrived in the Pre-Edison days. I'm not ashamed to admit I've spent upwards of $70 on a single candle. I found Detroit Rose via Instagram, and one look at the gorgeous packaging, had me getting my credit card out faster than you could say "Shopaholics Anonymous". To my delight, these beautiful candles were only $24. AND they're made right here in Detroit? SOLD. 

But like any great candle, it needs a great scent. I can confidently say that Detroit Rose's scents are unparalleled. They fill the entire room and wrap you in comfort and peacefulness. They have somehow managed to take that perfect "Sunday morning, wrapped in a blanket, watching Harry Potter with absolutely nothing to do today" feeling, and give it life in a candle. There are so many delicious scents to choose from, but here's my favorites I have burning on repeat:

*I know it's hard to choose a candle without smelling it first. For this reason, I have associated each scent with a notable person, to make choosing easier. Or just more entertaining. 

Cinnamon & Chai:

It smells like wrapping your house in one giant, cozy blanket. A spicy but comforting scent of vanilla, cinnamon and clove. This is the candle that's going to get you through the winter.

Who would burn it: Rory Gilmore. Before the revival garbage. 

Bourbon Orange Spice:

This one is Michael's favorite. It's a rich, buttery scent, made with the zest of orange, clove and anise. It's like the candle equivalent of melted butter (the feeling, not the smell). Smooth, and so delicious.

Who would burn it: Brad Pitt. In the Jenn days.  

Fig Tree:

I light this one every morning in my "Diva Den" (this is what Michael calls the spare room we had to make into my "dressing room", because I have SO.MANY.CLOTHES.) while I'm getting ready. It's clean, simple and earthy. Instantly turns any room into an oasis.

Who would burn it: Charlotte York. While she rearranges her flowers and makes brunch plans with the girls. 

Bergamot: 

The best way to describe the scent of this candle is "bright" (no, not a candle pun). It has the most delicious citrus notes, sure to perk up any space. It's energizing and inspiring. I love to light one when I write or am getting work done around the house. Currently lit as I write this (the candle, not me. I am an old lady and boring AF).

Who would burn it: Ina Garten. I light this and fantasize that she's about to make me a Quiche. Then my timer goes off for my bagel bites. 

BONUS burner: Lin Manuel Miranda. Rumor is he had this going while writing "Hamilton". That rumor was started by me.

Neroli: 

With hints of sandalwood and musk, this is the candle to bring out your inner goddess. It's sensual, peaceful and intoxicating. Side effect is that you may never want to leave your house. It's that good. 

Who would burn it: Serena van der Woodsen. Also Blair approved (but NOT Jenny. Forget her.). 

Tobacco & Bay Leaf:

As I write this, Michael yells from the kitchen that THIS is his favorite now. It smells like we live in a Restoration Hardware catalog (aka, the DREAM). Herbal, with hints of musk and citrus, it makes me feel warm and cozy on the inside. Also makes me want a giant reclaimed-wood bookcase filled with Sylvia Plath's best works. 

Who would burn it: My idol, Emma Watson. HOW CAN ONE PERSON BE SO PERFECT.

There are multiple other scents as well: Lavender, Rosa, Moss, Mistletoe, Leather, just to name a few. Each candle is hand poured here in Detroit, made from all-natural, vegan soy wax and premium fragrance oils.

 

BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE! 

Detroit Rose has launched a "Ritual Line". A line of skincare products, all natural, organic and filler free. 

Rose & Coconut Milk Bath Soak ($26):

Up there with naps, baths are the most underrated childhood pastime. There is nothing like taking a bath to make you feel like you have your life together. Funny thing is- I usually take one when it seems like my life is falling apart. It is the perfect way to unwind, clear your head and get back on track. And now I know there is no better companion to bath time than this bath soak. I didn't know I needed to bathe with real rose buds UNTIL I DID. This scent of this soak alone is enough to send you into a spa-like bliss. But the coconut milk, melting into your skin is absolute nirvana. Just a few spoonfuls in the tub leaves skin impossibly soft. 

Bergamot & Lavender Oil ($28):

After taking my soul-saving bath, I thought my skin couldn't get any softer from the coconut milk. Then came this body oil. I usually can't get down with lotions- I think they're a hassle and sticky and never seem to absorb or moisturize. This oil made my skin hydrated and glowy on impact. It's easy to apply and quickly melts into skin.  And the scent....it's what I imagine Blake Lively to smell like naturally (no wonder Ryan Reynolds loves her so much, also why do I think about Blake Lively so much?). It's just a hint of sweet citrus and lavender that provides you just enough light fragrance. 

Find it! 

Let's be honest- you're ordering some for yourself. You'll get the best selection on their site, and won't have to stress about shipping times. 

Need it by Christmas? 

Lark & Co.: Birmingham

City Bird: Detroit

El Dorado General Store: Detroit

Farmers Hand: Detroit

SMPLFD: Detroit

Knot and Bow: Brooklyn, NY

Asrai Garden: Chicago

Lillstreet: Chicago

A full lists of stockists, here

 

If it wasn't already obvious, I am now a faithful follower of Detroit Rose. The entire brand is dedicated to channeling your inner goddess (Yaaasss queen, I'm in here!!!), loving and appreciating yourself, and finding peace in the shit storm of life. Whether it's a candle, body oil, face mask (next on my list to try) or a bath soak- we all could use a little something to help us find balance in the day-to-day. That, and something very chic for your bathroom shelves. 

Busted Bra Shop

WHO WE'RE GIFTING...YOU!

(this one is for the ladies...or men- it's 2016 and I'm not here to judge. YOU DO YOU.) 

 

It's no secret that I am a proud member of the itty-bitty-you-know-what-committee (keeping it G here, my future in-laws read this. Hi guys!!!). I kept waiting to grow, but eventually I realized this is as good as it's going to get. I'm not bummed about my size- after many years, I've learned to love and appreciate my body. But there was always one thing I couldn't get behind- or under, I suppose: bras. I was a Victoria's Secret, 32A, push-up ride or DIE. They measured me countless times- 32A, year after year. But if I was wearing the right size, why was I always so uncomfortable? I was constantly playing with the skin-grabbing straps, or adjusting the cups. I thought it was normal I could fit some snacks, my phone, lipstick and an ipad mini in there. I was uncomfortable, but at least I had storage, right? I accepted that bras suck, but they're a right of passage to being a woman. Then, I saw the light. 

On a bender to my favorite vintage store with a girlfriend, we were just about to leave when a trip to the ladies room ensued. Right next to it, was Busted Bra Shop. To this day, I don't know what made me go in there. It was most likely divine intervention (I really think God could be a woman sometimes, good looking out). 

Upon walking in, the first words I heard were "I bet you're wearing a 32A. And it's the wrong size". I was baffled! I wore the smallest size that existed, what's a concave girl like me supposed to be wearing? Sadly unknown to me, there is a whole other world of bras outside of the pink and white stripes. I let Lee, the owner, take me into a fitting room (my friend, waiting outside the bathroom wondering where I went, sorry girl). Less than 5 minutes later, I was standing in there, sans shirt, with my Miracle Bombshell Gorgeous Miraculous 32AAAAHHH bra in the trash. Let me tell you- you are never more vulnerable than when you are in a fitting room, girls out, having a full on conversation with a woman you just met. Trust level is at an all time high.  I think I told her things I had never told anyone- like how I used to ride my bike by my crushes house blasting Ashlee Simpson (okay, now everyone knows). BACK TO BRAS. 

Well folks, as it turns out, I am a certified 28B. A size I didn't even know existed. The second I put on my new, perfectly fitted bra, it was love at first hook. For the first time, I was comfortable- that really does something beautiful for your own body positivity. The right fit is everything, and it turns out that the majority of women do NOT fall within standard retail sizing. Busted has sizes AAA-N, and bands from 26-56. With that range of sizes, how can we honestly accept that MILLIONS of women fall within the standard FOUR sizes mass retailers carry? Secret's out- we deserve more. 

WHERE TO GO...

The Park Shelton Building- Midtown

15 East Kirby Street, suite A

Detroit, MI 48202

 

When you shop at Busted, you are not only getting top notch service, quality product and a life-changing experience, but you're supporting a locally owned, Detroit business. A bra that supports you AND the local economy? Truly, Busted Bra Shop is the gift that keeps on giving. 

 

 

*Photo credit: Man Repeller

 

Wolf Moon Mixers

WHO WE'RE GIFTING... Your Secret Santa 

You know the drill. You pull a name out of the Secret-Santa hat at work. You open it up , and see the name of a co-worker you know nothing about. What the heck are you supposed to get them? A book? What if they prefer Netflix? Socks and underwear? That's a lawsuit waiting to happen. Really, there's only one thing you need to know about them- make sure they enjoy an adult beverage, and proceed with Wolf Moon Mixers. 

At a party a few weeks ago, I observed a friend mixing a green juice with Vodka. Yes, kale, grapefruit, apple, celery, and vodka- I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. In no way, shape or form was it drinkable. My poor pal just wanted a somewhat healthy alternative to the usual Diet Coke or tonic water. I thought that there had to be something better than a vodka salad. Lo and behold, right in my own city, lived a company that thought the same thing. All natural mixers, made from fruits, vegetables, cane sugar and flowers- all designed to pair perfectly with your favorite spirits. 

Hibiscus ($15):

My absolute favorite. I'm a tequila girl (I can feel your judgement from here), and Hibiscus mixed with silver tequila, makes the most delicious, fresh margarita. It's like in college, when the weather would break, and everyone would be outside on a Wednesday afternoon having a drink-I mean, STUDYING, mom!!!- That happy, satisfying taste, bottled. 

Alternate recipe: Hibiscus mixer, vodka, a splash of club soda and some fresh blueberries, muddled. 

*Not only do these mixers taste incredibly delicious, but the 32oz, aesthetically pleasing bottles look almost too good to drink. BUT WHO ARE WE KIDDING. Pop that bottle! 

Citrus ($15): 

You know that feeling when you're on vacation, laying by the pool, drink in hand without a care in the world? Citrus is that feeling in a bottle, even though you're sitting under a dozen blankets with your long johns pulled up to your bra. My go-to is to mix with some champagne, and a squeeze of an orange slice. This is Beyonce of Mimosas.

Alternate recipe: Citrus mix, vodka, a splash of club soda, and a slice of grapefruit to garnish. 

Pineapple Jalapeño ($15) :

Spicing up your life has never been easier, or more fun. The perfect mix of spicy and sweet, this flavor is ideal to mix with some tequila, a little lime and a lotta false-self confidence. For me- this mix is the party pleaser. The taste is strangely familiar, but deliciously different. Scary and Ginger would be proud.

Alternate recipe: Pineapple Jalapeño mix, gin, club soda. GINNING (take away my writing privileges)!!

* Check out two bonus flavors on the WMM site!

 

I'm no mix master. Hell, 4 years ago I drank wine out of a box and thought Smirnoff was top shelf.  The good people at Wolf Moon Mixers sympathize with me, and offer a plethora of delicious recipes, available here. At a party with no wi-fi (are you also churning butter)? Fear not- recipes are also featured on the back of the bottle.

Find It!: 

City Market: Detroit

Our/Detroit: Detroit

ML Spirits: Birmingham

Beverage Warehouse: Beverly Hills

Heights Food Center: Ferndale

Market Square: West Bloomfield

                     ...Find a full list of retailers, or shop online, here!

 

These mixers are the fun, delicious gift that keeps on giving. Not only do Wolf Moon Mixers make the perfect gift for your secret santa, but for your close friends too (they can invite you over for a drink and you can mooch off of your own gift). This cool, perfectly curated present is sure to be the talk of the office-unless Barb gets too drunk at the holiday party again and busts out a freestyle to "Silent Night"- she's got you beat. 

 

The Old White House

 

WHO WE'RE GIFTING: Mom/Mother-in-law

(no, not because they do all the cleaning, but because moms are the bomb.com and deserve a great gift!)

A few years ago, a friend gifted me The Old White House's Lavender Linen Spray. I kept it on my nightstand for a while, never really reaching to use it. But after a horrendously bad day (I think it had something do to with work and Adam Brody getting married), I came home in desperate need of relaxation and calm. I spotted the chic glass-bottle on my nightstand and figured I would give it a whirl. From that day on, I refuse to sleep in anything other than a bed full of lavender goodness. After falling head-over-pillow for the spray, I ventured into the entire Old White House line. I love the idea of filling my home with all natural products, and I love even more that they're made right here in Michigan. 

Located between Grand Rapids and Lansing (okay, a tad out of Detroit, but still local!), The Old White House is dedicated to creating laundry and cleaning products, all natural, all infused with Lavender, and all obession-worthy. 

Here's a breakdown of my favorite products:

Lavender Linen and Room Spray ($12):

Like I mentioned above, this is the ultimate way to feel relaxed and clean- even if your room looks like a tornado of Zara came through. Not only do I use it nightly on my sheets, but I use it on blankets, drapes, even my shower curtain. A few spritzes on my pillow is an instant trip to relaxation nation.

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Natural Lavender Laundry Soap ($8):

I loathe washing my clothes in harsh chemicals (just like I hate when someone mixes the tofu with the falafel at the salad bar at Whole Foods. The NERVE). When I use this, my clothes turn out like I'm Julie Andrews in "The Sound of Music", hanging my things in the crisp air while singing about deer or thread or something. Giving your mom a way to  get her clothes clean and fresh, all while using natural ingredients? You're now the favorite child. 

*Highly recommend the one that comes with the wooden scoop. It's $2...your mom is worth it. 

Lavender Kitchen and Bath Cleanser ($8):

I live with a man. I have clean our bathroom every other day (Okay..between my hair and makeup, the mess is probably mostly mine). I started to get worried that the bleach I was washing our shower with, was soaking up into the pores of my feet, and I would soon turn into something out of a Marvel movie. This stuff really cleans, leaves a fresh scent, AND I get to stay human. Sold.

I also use this in my kitchen, in the sink and on countertops. I do a lot of messy cooking, and this cleansers antibacterial properties leave me with a sparkling clean kitchen, sans risk of Salmonella. 

*For these products, a little goes a LONG way, I only use a small sprinkle on a sponge to get the job done. 

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Lavender Carpet Freshener ($12):

When you get older, you start to accumulate nice things, like Oriental Rugs. But you walk all over it in your boots, dirty sandals, etc., making your once-nice-rug look as tired as Donald Trump's hair piece (too soon?). Sprinkle this stuff on, let sit for 30 minutes and then vacuum it up. Carpet looks and smells like new! 

The Bundle ($45):

Can't decide what to get? The "Bundle of Natural Lavender Goodness" is the fool-proof way to go. It includes all of the above, and a Lavender dryer sachet! A small warning: your moms house is going to smell so good and be so clean, that you may want to move back in. Think that one through carefully. 

Find it!

Lark & Co. General Store: Birmingham, MI

Blumz: Detroit & Ferndale

Eastern Market, shed 4: Detroit

Out of D Box 313: Detroit

        ...and of course, online! 

(You don't have to live in Detroit to support it!)

WHY:

To me, products from The Old White House say you care. They're quality, heart-warming gifts that any person could use and appreciate. The fresh, clean scents are comforting and soothing- a nice change up from harsh chemical smells and harmful ingredients. There is something about the smell of fresh Lavender filling your home that calms the soul- until "Westworld" comes on. Then I'm at a loss. 

 

The Nines Local Gift Guide 2016

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It was the great Cher Horowitz that once said "Tis a far, far better thing doing stuff for other people". I’ve always felt this riveting sentiment to be true. Especially around the holidays, when I try to do something thoughtful for each person in my life- whether it’s bake their favorite cookies, or buy that thing they mentioned 6 months ago, but never got. The joy of giving a great gift, big or small, to someone you love is a far greater joy than receiving (unless it’s a car or $5,000 gift card to Sephora, come back to me then). As Christmas draws closer, I've started thinking about what to give this year. Yes, I will give my time to charities and other philanthropic causes, but I’m talking gifts here, people.

I began searching Amazon, department stores, Target, etc., but couldn’t seem to find anything quite special enough for the ones that are special to me. I racked my brain for the things I love, and I quickly realized something: the majority of the things that I cherish in my home (non-human/animal), come from a local business. Then it hit me- what if every dollar I spent this year on gifts, got put back into my own community? Bought a kid dance lessons, or braces? Paid the rent, or funded a vacation? Is there any greater gift than supporting your local economy (okay…again see Car/$5K Sephora gift card..I AM ONLY HUMAN)?

And here we are, with The Nines Local Gift Guide, all with “Made in Detroit” products. Throughout the week, I’ll feature something for everyone on your list: mothers, brothers, friends, even that weird guy from work you picked for Secret Santa. And best of all- your perfect present supports local business right here in Detroit. Follow along here this week for a new, thoughtful gift every day. And since I know my readers are on the "Nice List" this year (except my coworker Gabi. There’s always next year, girl), there will even be a giveaway at the end of the series! 

So, sorry in advance, Santa, but I prefer my gifts to be made right here- no trip to the North Pole necessary (also, reindeer terrify me).  

I Don't Love Hillary. But I'm Voting for Her.

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I've kept pretty quiet this election. I had always thought that my political affiliations and opinions should be private, and not displayed via memes on the internet. But with the decision of who our next President will be upon us, I feel this election is too important to keep quiet any longer. I'm not standing on a soapbox telling you to who vote for. I am expressing my concern as to the kind of country we are at risk of becoming. Also it's my site and I can do what I want.  

I was a Bernie Sanders supporter. I had been feeling frustrated with this country for so long, and his revolutionary ideas gave me hope for America and its people. When Bernie did not win the nomination, I was hesitant to support Hillary. To be honest- I wasn't a fan. I thought her to be untrustworthy, fake, and a product of the political machine. I left my support with Sanders, spitefully holding onto my vote. 

But as time went on, I invested myself more and more into debates, articles, and coverage. I didn't find myself loving Hillary Clinton, but I found myself feeling in danger by Donald Trump. 

Here's the thing: I don't have to like Hillary. But I have to vote for her, and I will, gladly. I think a lot of women can resonate with this feeling. When you are a powerful, smart, "hard" kind of woman, there's a good chance people in business may not like you personally. The world likes us warm, fuzzy and sweet- and when you're not, you're a bitch. Hillary Clinton is not a bitch. She is educated, serious and capable. I may not like Hillary, but at least she doesn't make me feel like my gender is in danger. 

Donald Trump is not a punch line. He is a sexist, racist, misogynistic, narcissistic, dangerous person- that mongers fear and brings out the worst in this country. As a woman, I have never felt true danger as a citizen of this country. I realized this, as I drove to work the other day behind a truck with the bumper sticker that read "Grab America by the Pussy". This is not a game, this is not a joke. This is rape culture. This is the endangerment of women, minorities, LGBT, cops, and yes, men too. When we normalize sexual assault, when we make it into a joke, we are no longer the country built on the hard work of those who came before us. We are a country beyond recognition.

I am not saying Hillary is the perfect candidate- and trust me, I want her to be. The first woman President is a big deal- a monumental, emotional moment in history. But before someone goes off my comments about her emails, tell me- why are you not outraged that during the Bush administration, 22 million emails were "lost", during one of the darkest times in our nation's history? Screw your emails. This is life and death ( and not in the way I used to describe getting a new Hollister sweatshirt when I was 14). So- emails, which have been investigated thoroughly (no, your Aunt's not an FBI authority. Her Facebook memes are not law), or the endangerment of minorities, women, servicemen, the disabled and of the future of this country?

Tomorrow, I will gladly vote for Hillary Clinton. But it's more than that. Regardless of the outcome of this election- it is up to us. WE are what forms the cloth of this country. We help an elderly neighbor shovel her sidewalk in the winter. We teach our children tolerance, and that differences are what make people beautiful. We line up in the masses to donate blood when 50 Americans are killed at a nightclub.  We do not discriminate against our fellow citizens based on empty fear. We don't let negotiate with terrorists- so why are we considering one for President?

When you go to the polls, think about the country you want in 10 years. The country you want for your children, even your grandchildren- that is what's at stake here. If that includes dehumanizing women, isolating minorities and dividing us by hate- you may be in the wrong country to begin with. 

Vote. 

 

The Travel Series: Packing Your Carry-On

When I was younger, I used to have one of those Aladdin mini-suitcase carry ons that held one thing: beanie babies. As I got older, I started packing more practical things, like my walkman and my entire collection of burned CDs, filled with the likes of Yellowcard and Jessica Simpson (I was a complicated child). But it wasn't until I started traveling for work, that I really got the hang of what I need on a plane....other than an Xanax. 

Whether it's a quick flight or a journey to the other side of the world, your carry-on should be filled with only the necessities. Sorry beanie babies, that means you're left behind. 

THE BAG:

The aforementioned Aladdin suitcase just doesn't cut it anymore. I've learned that for me, what's best is a backpack or zippered tote, and a small purse if necessary. The key is it should zip or snap shut, so when you put it under your seat, your things don't go flying everywhere. I think this is what the kids call a "MAJOR KEY". For this trip to Ireland, I used a small backpack from Zara (currently sold out, but so many great options), as well as a zippered tote from Detroit is The New Black. It's the ideal travel bag, and only $34 bucks. 

CONTENTS: 

1) Blanket Scarf

An absolute necessity. While I'd love to invest in a good quality cashmere scarf, I know that planes can be dirty and I am prone to spilling my tomato juice and getting cookie crumbs everywhere while in-flight. I have this one from Asos, that has become a travel staple. Big, soft and cozy- and under $30. 

Blanket scarves are good for a multitude of purposes: warmth on a chilly plane, as a blanket, even rolled up as a pillow. The key to dressing for travel is to layer. I usually wear a comfortable pair of pants or jeans, t-shirt, sweater or jacket, and my scarf. A PLANE IS NOT YOUR BEDROOM. Nix the pajama pants and general sloppiness. You can be comfortable and still look put together. 

 

2) Headphones 

This is a given- however, based on my own experiences I wanted to make a note. My beloved Beats wireless were useless in-flight, as bluetooth doesn't work in airplane mode, or connect to the seat TV. Do yourself a favor and bring your regular 'ol headphones with a wire (sorry, iPhone 7).

3) Socks 

Sometimes, we wear sandals to the airport. Then, we have to go barefoot through a dirty security line. THEN we want to get on a plane and take our shoes off, and THEN you're going to get in your hotel bed with all the germs of the airport. This can all be easily avoided with a pair of socks. If you're wearing flats or sandals to the airport, pack a comfy pair of socks you can wear through security and on the plane. Your bare feet in public are like Donald Trump in a speedo- disgusting and better covered up. 

4) A Book/Magazine

I love to read, but rarely find time when I'm home. Being stuck 30,000 feet with nothing to do is an ideal time to catch up on a good book. Check out the Amazon top-sellers if you can't find one you like. If it's heavy, download it to an iPad or if you're REALLY cool- your kindle. Not me- I love the feeling of a big heavy book falling on my face when I (almost always) fall asleep reading it. But be realistic- if you're not a reader, don't take up room and weight in your bag for a book you won't read. 

5) Extra Underwear, T-shirt

When I was younger, for 5 years in a row, Northwest airlines lost my luggage on our yearly family trip. By the 4th time, I got wise. If you're going to be stuck with no clothes for a day or two, at least you'll have clean undergarments and an alternate t-shirt. If you're going somewhere tropical, pack a bathing suit-because past the age of six it's not cute to swim in your underwear in public. *NOTE: I hear this is different for Vegas. 

6) Toiletries

In the first part of this series, we went over in-flight beauty routines. On the plane, if I'm going to be using a mask that is in a bigger container, I transfer a little to a small jar. I am also sure to have face mist, face wipes, dry shampoo (or wave spray), and a rollerball perfume. If I know I'll be getting off the plane and right to seeing people, I'll bring my makeup bag as well. 

7) Wet Wipes

Call me a germaphobe, but I always wipe down the armrests, tray table and seat-belt before take-off. You can buy mini-packs of wet wipes just about anywhere (I get mine at Target) for cheap. Maybe I'm crazy, but you don't know who was sitting there before you, or before that, or before that, and now we're into a guy that sat there 3 months ago and clipped his toenails all the way to Tokyo. 

8) Medications

If you take any kind of medications daily (birth control, antibiotic, etc.), put them in your carry-on. If your luggage gets lost, you'll be stuck, especially if you aren't near a pharmacy. I wonder how many babies are born from lost luggage (should this have been a private question?)?

9) Gum/Mints

If you're like me, you can fall asleep anywhere- especially planes- and church, but that's a different issue. When you wake up without access to brush your teeth, do your neighbor a favor and pop a mint. Does this need any further explanation? If so, you might need a different blog...

10) Water Bottle

You can either bring an empty plastic one through security, or a reusable option. I love BKR bottles, because they're lightweight, and made of glass, keeping water colder and fresher. It's so important to hydrate in-flight, and you can't keep pressing your call button for a refill- well, you can, but don't be that person. 

11) Wallet

This should go without saying, but it's how you pack your wallet that matters. When traveling, chances are you don't need your Nordstrom card, library card, Kroger rewards card and a store-gift card with $2.04 on it that you're not sure how to spend. Bring only the necessities: license, credit card, debit card and insurance cards. 

The key to your carry-on is to simplify and keep it light. Many times I've been running through the airport, weighed down by my 500-page book, or freezing on the plane, casually cuddling up to the person next to me. I grew up Catholic, and I'm pretty sure that's not what the Bible meant by "Love Thy Neighbor".  Then again- I only went to catechism for the snacks.

 

 

The Travel Series: Beauty Bag

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Ahhh, the sweet satisfaction of vacation. You requested the days-off at work, packed your bags, and are off to your destination...only to get there and realize you packed 6 dresses, no pants and some weird t-shirt you promised "you would wear sometime!!!". Sound familiar? The number one question I am asked is how to pack for a trip (second to my knowledge of obscure Celine Dion facts). I figured as I get ready for my own trip to Ireland, what better time to create a travel guide? 

In this travel series, I'll be going through three different categories of packing: your carry-on, beauty bag and suitcase. Packing is a lot of work, but trust me, it's much better to do the labor BEFORE your trip, so you don't get there and realize you have no pajamas and you have to sleep in a hotel towel. That's a one way ticket to Chafe City. 

Let's start with the basics, what beauty you need to spend less time getting ready, and more time relaxing. Because you didn't take your vacation days to spend it contouring your every crevice. 

IN-FLIGHT:

Yes, in-flight beauty is where it's at. Long gone are the days of watching some cancelled sitcom on your seat TV and waiting for the peanuts to pass by again. When you're on a plane, your skin gets severely dehydrated, leaving it in bad shape for the rest of your vacation. Your 2x4 seat is now your own personal spa....the kid kicking your seat is as good as a masseuse, right? 

1) Sephora Sleep Mask Pods

These were MADE for travel. Small enough to fit in your carry-on, and invisible on your face, these will hydrate, even, and brighten for the duration of your flight. My favorites are Lotus and Pearl. 

2) Glossier Moisturizing Moon Mask

Apply a thin layer (will appear a little white, like lotion) all over, and blend into skin when done, like moisturizer. You'll depart the plane looking like first class, even when you spent 3 hours squished in a corner, debating buying that Tupac-faced bird feeder from SkyMall. 

3) Dr. Jart Water Replenishment Sheet Mask

THE MOST HYDRATING! It's basically like drinking a gallon of water, but for your face. However, it's also the most frightening. Might put you on the terror watch list, but at least your skin would look fresh on the posters. 

 

Alright, you've made it to your destination. Before you stuff your face with chicken tenders (the official food of vacations everywhere) and put your 100 pairs of underwear in the hotel drawer (we'll address this later in the series), let's freshen up. 

*TIP: When trying out a new product, always test it out before your trip. Re: Alex's rash-gate 2011 when I tried Proactiv for the first time while in Italy. Remember when Hermoinie did a Stinging Jinx on Harry in Deathly Hallows pt. 2? That was me. 

REFRESH:

Face mists are key. You can take them on the plane, as long as they're TSA approved- they're perfect for the post-flight bathroom/taxi/rental car refresh. THE WORLD IS YOUR SPA! 

1) Tony Moly Pocket Bunny Moist Mist

My personal favorite, it's ultra-hydrating and refreshing. It also smells like fruit loops. Tou-CAN you say add to cart?! Please keep reading. 

2) Glossier Soothing Face Mist

If you love the smell of Rose, this is the one for you. It's not TSA friendly, but worth digging around in your suitcase for. This stuff really makes you feel like you've got your life together. Only people who have their life together use face mist, right ("Things I Tell Myself to Sleep at Night, a Memoir")?

 

CLEANSE: 

Even though you were straight-up dedicated to that in-flight beauty routine, it's still good to cleanse your skin from the recycled air. 

1) Ole Henriksen Cleansing Cloths-Brightening

That one-glass-of-Merlot-glow in a wipe. Okay, maybe it's just the wine that makes me think I'm glowing? Well, these noticeably brighten your complexion in one swipe. I hardly EVER go without makeup, and one use of these and I was out in public as bare as a baby's bottom. Okay, enough bad innuendos. These are the bomb. 

2) Ole Henriksen Cleansing Cloths- Grease Relief

Traveling can make you stressed out, sweaty and gross (I really hope I'm not just revealing myself here). These are perfect for removing any oils and grease, leaving you with a matte, even complexion. Extra points because they come in a smaller, travel version! 

*STORAGE: I pack all these in Glossier pink pouches, as well as a hanging cosmetics bag from Target. An absolute necessity for hotel-bathroom organization. To protect against leaks, I unscrew the lid off the product, put a small layer of saran wrap over the opening and put the cap/lid back on. Only YOU can prevent beauty wastage. 

MAKEUP: 

You've unpacked, you're ready to take the town, or see your grandparents- vacation comes in many forms. When I'm away, I like to keep my beauty routine as quick and simple as possible. Here's the products that get it done:

1) Glossier Priming Moisturizer

I've talked about it once and I'll talk about it 1000 MORE TIMES UNTIL EVERYONE HAS IT. You deserve the perfect moisturizer, and this is it. Holy grail because it looks just as good alone and as a base for makeup. Essential to my makeup routine. 

 

2) Bare Minerals Complexion Rescue

Fool proof- which is great for a fool like me. Makes skin so lush and so even- no kabukikiki/tapered unicorn hair brushes needed. Apply with fingers for the easiest, most naturally beautiful coverage you've ever had. 

3) Boy Brow

The appreciation for this never product never ends. Changing brows one quick-stroke at a time- no matter if you're Lily Collins brow-blessed or Gwen Stefani in the "No Doubt" days. 

4) Haloscope in Topaz

Swipe this on cheekbones for that coveted sun-kissed glow that usually takes 3 highlighters and a vat of bronzer. Also doubles as a subtle, yet beautiful eyeshadow. 

5) Generation G in Jam

Dual purpose, ideal for travel: great flushed color for lips, dab a little on apples of cheeks for a gorgeous, natural blush.

*HI! I've still got your back-here's that 20% off your Glossier order.  

6) Covergirl Perfect Blend Eye Pencil in Black and Last Blast Volume Mascara

I've been using these since high school for good reason. The eyeliner is creamier than any expensive brand I've used, glides on eyelids like a dream. The mascara is a drug-store staple. No clumps, no lumps, just natural looking lashes. YOU ARE A VACATION GODDESS! Easy and natural is the name of your makeup game. 

This whole routine takes under 15 minutes- less time on beauty, more time on margaritas- or hiking/being active. To each their own. 

HAIRCARE:

Hair routines can be tricky when you travel. Bad hotel hairdryers, humidity, weather changes- it's the perfect storm of a bad hair day. Fool-proof your routine by keeping it simple. 

1) OUAI Hair Oil

Another beauty brand that lives up to the hype- OUAI has created the perfect products for easy, beautiful hair. I rub 1-2 pumps of the oil in my hands and distribute throughout damp hair. Let air dry for the perfectly un-done, Olsen sisters hair (circa 2004, post-"Full House" but pre- "New York Minute"). 

2) OUAI Wave Spray

This is my holy grail of hair products. I used to blow-dry my hair every day. Since finding the wave spray, I'm at peak laziness and have gotten down to about once a week. I spray on wet to damp hair, scruch, and air dry. Again- perfect Olsen beach waves (this time, circa 2002- prime of the "So Little Time" era). BONUS: comes in a TSA-approved travel size!

 

 

Now that your skin is in tip-top shape, you can enjoy your vacation looking and feeling your best. In the next part of the series, we'll dissect the ideal carry-on. Sneak Peek: blanket scarves and hoarding those shortbread cookies from Delta. Who said traveling can't be fun?