"Sensitiv" and In Style: Meet Kumei, CEO of Tofu Tees!

I’ve been trying to take real, concrete action for the protection and progress of the Black community- and that’s a life long commitment, not just a two-week initiative. But I know one of the most important things I can do is get out there and show solidarity and support in my own city- Las Vegas. I think sometimes I find it hard to make a connection here, even though I truly love living here. My heart just always feels a pull for Detroit, and that’s where my efforts have been directed.

I wanted to start making changes in my own community by being aware of and supporting Black-owned businesses here, so I started researching. That’s when I came across “Tofu Tees’”, and I was immediately intrigued. Cool, whimsical illustrations…and wait- it’s an 11-year-old at the helm? Kumei is the CEO of Tofu Tees’, all the designs are her own, the illustrations are hand-drawn by her. While I was blown away by her artistry, what really caught me was her powerful and compassionate voice.

Scrolling through her Instagram, I came across one post of Kumei’s handmade Black Lives Matter bracelets. The caption read “I’m just a kid, I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to say. Our country needs to treat us better”. My heart shattered into a million pieces. Sure Kumei is a CEO, a designer, AND a Vegetarian, but she is a kid. A kid who has already felt the weight of the world. A weight that people like me should be carrying for her. And still yet, she uses her voice. She promotes donating to charity, to treating others with kindness, she is making a difference in the world and she’s only getting started.

Let’s hear from the CEO of Tofu Tees’ herself, Kumei!

When did you start Tofu Tees, and how did you come up with the name?

K: I started Tofu Tees when I was eight years old. Honestly I really like tofu a lot and I was selling tee shirts so I put them together to make  the name "Tofu Tees"!

What's the story behind your famous "Why Are Peepl So Sensitiv"? What inspired you to start your line?

K: One day me and my mom were cleaning my room. We started looking through one of my old notebooks and found "Why Are Peepl So Sensitiv?" written in it. The handwriting made me think I must have been about 5 when I wrote it.  We thought it was really funny and decided to put it on shirts. "Peepl" loved it so much and from there it grew into what it is today.

K: I started making more designs about issues that are important to me, like dumping Trump, being a feminist and equality! My mission is to make people laugh/smile while invoking deeper thought about social issues around our community, nation and planet. 

What's your favorite thing about having your own shop/ designing? 

K: I love being able to just be creative, because I'm the boss, if I have an idea, I can just do it. I also like being an entrepreneur because it helps me make more friends and allows me to inspire them to follow their dreams. 

What's your favorite design you have in the shop right now?

K: My favorite design would be "Why Are Peepl So Sensitiv?". I have no idea why I wrote this but I'm glad I did!

You are doing more for the world than most adults! Do you have any words of wisdom for anyone who wants to use their voice and help make change?

K: No matter how old you are, you can still make a difference. Just do what you feel is right!

You inspired me to take action and make change. What's something we can do today to help make the world a better place?

K: To All Adults: Please do what us kids cannot. Vote, protest, donate, speak up to the people in charge of your community. (: 

What's next for Tofu Tees?! New designs? New Products? I can't WAIT to see what you do next!

K: I just released Tofu Home and Tofu Pet, which includes vases, mugs, pet accessories and more. Next week, I will be experimenting with Tie-Dyeing  and bleaching apparel. I also have a new design coming out in honor of our black community that includes tube tops and tote bags. I also have a collaboration with The Tiny Bloom, we will release more information on that soon! Last, I am hosting a Kids Against Racism Rally this Sunday to give kids a safe place to speak their minds. 

I picked up my BLM bracelet, ordered a very chic tee, and got in touch with Kumei’s amazing mom, Tiarre! I wanted to know how to best promote Kumei & Tofu Tees’, not just because I love her designs- but because to promote Kumei means to promote a kinder, more progressive future.

Want to help invest in her dream? Here’s how:

1) Shop Tofu Tees’

Head over to The Tofu Tees’ site and pick yourself up a t-shirt (The “Dump Trump” tee is ICONIC), a vase, drinking glasses, wish bracelets, a ZINE (I mean..how cool?!) even a bandanna for your pet! I personally will be wearing my “Lil Feminist” tee more often than I should probably admit.

• For reference, I bought an adult medium for a slightly oversized fit!

2) Materials

Kumei is running an entire business-materials can get expensive! Not to mention postage. Tiarre said they went through almost 200 stamps in the last week, sending out the BLM bracelets free of cost. We can help cover the expense of materials and shipping, to make sure Kumei can focus on being CEO, designer, and probably future President. Here’s how you can give:

• Cash App: $Littered

• Venmo: @Lurksmoney

3) Promote Her Shop

We all know the best advertising is word of mouth! Share her website or Instagram (@tofutees) with people that would love her designs, or anyone who would be better for knowing her…so, all of us!

Kumei is doing the hard work. She’s designing, running a business, using her voice to make this world a better place right now, and in the future. We have to put in the work too, to fight against racism and systematic oppression. Work within ourselves, and in our communities. Kumei has lit a fire in me (and given me my favorite new t-shirt). Her courage, drive and compassion aren’t just an inspiration- they’re a guideline of how I will go forward and use my own voice.

The Best Things I Bought in 2019

I really made an effort to curb my spending last year. I focused only on buying things that I truly loved, and I became conscious of where I wanted to spend my hard-earned money. Of course, there were slip-ups with a sweater that was “on super sale!!”, and countless hours of adding stuff to cart, followed by slamming my computer shut. I’m not perfect (I only pretended to be for five years so Michael would marry me. Kidding! He has always known I’m insane).

We all know that the important things in life are people- not things. With that moral obligation out of the way, I want to share with you some of the best things I acquired last year. They enhanced my skin, my closet, even my bust (it was about TIME!). Here are the best things I bought in 2019:

CUUP Bras

The Scoop

The Balconette

I’ve been struggling with bras (and writing about that struggle) for years. A few years ago, I got a professional fitting- not one at Victoria’s Secret from a girl whose hands still had bits of the Auntie Anne’s Pretzel from the food court stuck to them who tells me I’m a 32D (Oh sweet girl, I barely make the alphabet). It was a real bra store and it was life changing. I was sent home with two finally perfect bras. I continued to wear those bras for the next three years. They were falling apart, over-washed and over-worn. But I didn’t have access to that specific store anymore, so I found myself wearing flimsy bralettes for months just to avoid the hell of  finding a new woman to stand naked in a fitting room with.

I kept seeing ads for CUUP, and I found out that some of my girlfriends had already been wearing their bras. The fitting studio is New York, but I was intrigued when I saw they did digital fittings. I immediately signed up for an appointment, thrilled at the idea of the only cold hands around my bust would be mine (Michael refuses to turn on the heat, so yes! My hands and all other body parts are cold).

I had a Skype call with a CUUP fitter, she told me exactly how to measure myself with my tape measure, and she sent me a questionnaire about my bust and what I wanted in a bra. At the end of the appointment, she was able to recommend perfect styles for my size and shape. The bras came, and she was completely right. The bras molded to by body like they were made for me. There was no insane padding or uncomfortable, thick wire. I got the “Plunge”, the “Balconette” and the “Triangle”. They are soft, lightweight, supportive and comfortable. the “Triangle” is my everyday go-to, but having three bras in rotation is a gift and a privilege!

Parade Underwear

I see London, I see France, I want the internet to see my underpants!!

My undergarments drawer really got a makeover this year, and it all started with Parade. Parade reached out to me pre-launch, and asked me if I would like to try a few styles. I figured that underwear was just underwear, but I loved their message of sustainability with their fabric choices, and that a portion of proceeds goes to Planned Parenthood. I got my package of the three styles: thong, cheeky and brief. Right out of the package, I couldn’t believe how soft they were, and I loved the mesh-paneling that would allow me to ~breathe~ (as much as one can in a Levi’s ribcage jean, which looks great, but violates you every time you sit down).

After wearing each style, I knew I couldn’t go back. I needed my ass in Parade every day. I went to my underwear drawer and threw out 80% of it, and placed an order for more. The vibrant colors, the comfortable, cool fabric, it’s a butt’s best friend. Well actually- no nevermind, my mom reads this.

Collect the rainbow, catch them all, blah blah blah, just upgrade your butt in 2020 (should I run for President?).

*In the clickable link, it’s buy two pairs, get one FREE! Don’t say I never gave you anything!

Outdoor Voices Exercise Dress

The only time I’ve ever wanted to blend in.

The best thing I’m going to buy in 2020 is Windex, apparently!!

I technically first bought the Outdoor Voices Exercise Dress in 2018, but it took full-blown obsession last year, and I added a second style to my collection. This dress is one of the most valuable players in my closet. It’s comfy (it has a built-in shorts liner underneath), easy to throw on, and perfect for layering. I’ve worn mine to work out, but I usually reserve it for perusing the aisles at Trader Joe’s, returning overdue library books, and taking Maple to the dog park (where his best friend is a 100+lb Saint Bernard. We love a diverse dog park!). It’s an easy way to look put together, while putting in the least amount of effort. The cheetah print is my favorite- I’ll wear it on a walk, then layer it later with a tan long-sleeve tee and a duster coat. Plus, there’s a small pocket in the under-shorts, which is perfect for my chapstick, ID, and dog treats. I will not NOT be the favorite mom at the dog park. Social suicide.

Realisation Par “Naomi” Skirt

We all know about the Realisation Par skirt, “The Naomi”. It’s the cheetah skirt that launched 1,000,000 cheetah skirts. It’s been on every blogger and Hadid and girl from your high school. But there’s a reason, and that reason is that it’s the perfect skirt. I finally bit the bullet on it for my birthday last year, and I’ve worn it every week since then. All the prints can be used as a neutral, paired with a white t-shirt, oversized sweater, even a sweatshirt or long coat. It’s an easy travel companion, easy to slip on, and is flattering on everyone. It’s simple, yet chic. Different, but not too daring. My favorite kind of math is “cost-per-wear”, and this is mathematical wonder.

The cheetah print is the most popular, but I love the floral and the red hearts. Don’t let anyone tell you this skirt is “basic”. It’s a basic, in the sense that you’ll wear it over and over again, with multiple things in your closet. Not to mention, the skirt comes in a cute, reusable tote, which I used as my purse for a good four months. And then Michael told me he was never buying me another nice purse again…fair.

Laneige Lip Sleeping Mask

This was a product that everyone I knew owned. But I was perfectly happy slathering my Aquaphor on every night like jelly on toast. I was re-upping on some beauty products online, and I needed to spend $20 more to avoid paying $4.95 for shipping. Since I am logical and great at math, I threw the Laneige Lip Sleeping Mask in my cart, satisfied that I wasn’t giving FedEx a DIME!!!

My Aquaphor quickly made it’s way into Michael’s bathroom drawer, where most of my reject products go to. He never opens it, but he should- there’s potentially great stuff in there (for him, not me. My face is a delicate temple. His, he can wash with hand soap)! This lip mask is the holy grail of lip products. It softly moisturizes all night to ensure my lips look and feel healthy the whole next day. I find myself having to use less and less lip balm during my waking hours. I use the vanilla, because it reminds me of a Jessica Simpson “Dessert Beauty” gloss I used to have. Honestly, I haven’t stopped talking about that cosmetics line for 10 years. I’ve put the brand on my BACK Jessica, BRING IT BACK!!

Glossier Future Dew

Just Dew It (surely someone else has already come up with this).

My skin on Futuredew!

I buy a lot of skincare, but this year, I found a routine and was sticking to it. However, when Glossier released “Futuredew”, I was too curious not to try. I had never tried or even heard of an oil-serum Hybrid, and I wondered if it would really deliver on its promise of giving me that “just applied all my skincare and my whole life is together” look I so desired.

This is now my favorite product from Glossier. For me, it’s the finishing touch to my “no-makeup” days, making me look more refined and dewy, instead of “I woke up late” and “too tired to care”. It makes my skin look hydrated, plump and healthy. The consistency threw me off a bit at first, so I warmed it up in my hands first and patted it onto my face. One pump is more than enough, so the bottle should last quite a long time.

Westman Atelier Makeup

Tinted Highlight

Lit Up Highlight Stick

Baby Cheeks Blush

Vital Skin Foundation

My great makeup overhaul of 2019 deserves a post in itself (and I will!), but the greatest change I made this year was the switch to mostly all natural makeup, and Westman Atelier was the reason for that. Every product I tried was better than the last. It’s true 5-minute makeup, and I don’t feel like I’m covering my skin, just enhancing it.

If I had to choose just one product from the line, the”Super Loaded Tinted Highlight” in Peau de Peche is the greatest thing to happen to me since gel pedicures. I use it more like a blush, taking my finger and swiping across my upper cheek bones, on eyelids, and a little at my hairline. It is an instant pick-me up and makes even my pasty winter skin look warm and glowy. How does one STAY pasty, despite living in the desert? I’m a modern marvel, I know.

 Here’s to another year of not getting any calls from the credit card company (otherwise known as “smart spending”)!

Earrings, Anklets & ...Arthur?

I’ve never really been a “jewelry-girl” It all started when I was in second grade, and my dad took me to “Limited Too” to get my ears pierced- against my mom’s Explicit! Instructions! Not to! Fast forward two months, when my lobes were so severely infected, that I had to go to the doctor to get the earrings removed. I was intent on getting them re-pierced, until I saw that episode of “Arthur” where D.W.’s friend’s piercing gets infected and turns her bunny ears bright green. I was apparently so traumatized by the cartoon-horror of it all, that I didn’t get them pierced again until high school.

I did however, dive into necklaces in my teens, when I got the iconic Tiffany’s heart chain-pendant, which was essential to my Hardtails and Uggs look. But jewelry in general never quite stuck with me, I just wasn’t buying or wearing it- and I always felt like just a little something was missing from all my outfits.

In the past year, I started investing in some everyday pieces. I began with a simple gold initial “A” necklace, my mom gifted me a small gold vintage pendant, and Michael got me a beautiful gold necklace for our anniversary. Slowly but surely my collection started to grow, and expand with more earrings, anklets, even a toe ring I won’t talk about. I’ve found some perfect pieces to form a sort of “starter kit” for a recovering non-jewelry wearer.

Ank Studios Laurel Hoops-$45

Two years ago, I apparently had no guidance in my life because no-one cared to inform me that sleeping in earrings was really bad for you, and may or may not rip your ear lobe. My left-lobe is still in recovery, but I’ve finally been able to wear earrings again thanks to these stickers.

The first pair I reached for is these perfect gold hoops from Ank Studios. Hoops and huggies are having a big moment right now, but so many can look cheap, or cost more than a month’s worth of Thai takeout (in hindsight, we should have not moved within walking distance of a Thai restaurant). I found Ank Studios on Instagram, and they seem to be the perfect mix of cost-efficient, yet high quality. They’re light on my ears, and they look and feel expensive. I’ve been wearing them with everything from a cocktail dress, to a sweatshirt or t-shirt. There’s something so chic about wearing nicer jewelry with everyday basics.

Brinker and Eliza The Best Is Yet To Come Necklace -$88

I’ve longed for this necklace since seeing it on just about everyone at Paris Fashion Week. It’s the perfect mix of costume and chic. I’m currently wearing it with a t-shirt and jeans, but can’t wait to wear with sweaters and skirts all winter long. I’ve found that I prefer my jewelry to be a little more playful. Unless someone wants to get me a diamond necklace, then I can get serious REAL FAST.

Roxanne Assoulin Hip Hop But Not Earrings -$120

When my beloved ear lobe was healing, I strictly wore clip-on earrings. When I found these by Roxanne Assoulin, I felt like they were the essence of me- loud, colorful, and a little crazy. The mismatched pair was love at first sight, and I finally splurged on them before going to Europe last Fall. I’ve worn them with everything from sweatshirts to formal dresses. They’re eye-catching, playful, and can jazz up any outfit. Definitely an investment worth making. At least that’s what I told my financial planner. I’m sure he understood!!

A Cowrie Shell Anklet

Cowrie shells were all the rage in jewelry this summer, worn by just about about every influencer and your favorite 10-year-old coming back from summer camp. I really wanted a cowrie shell anklet, but wasn’t willing to pay the hefty price tag I kept seeing. Thank God for Etsy! For $7, I have the accessory of the season, and I can’t wait to take it into Fall. I plan to wear it over white athletic socks with sneakers, or with a skirt and heeled sandals (SANDALS YEAR ROUND IS NOW MY REALITY!!!). It puts a little Johnny Tsunami in my step and honestly, I think that’s something we could all use right now. Go big or go home!! (I will most definitely go home).

Vintage Jewelry

A lot of jewelry I’ve found has been from vintage or antique stores. Especially if you wear clip-ons, this is the way to go. I’ve shopped locally (if you’re in Michigan, “Crimson Rose Antiques” in Birmingham is my favorite), but have also seen great finds on Etsy and Instagram. Since vintage jewelry is a little worn, I usually just polish up with a cloth or take the item to get professionally polished at a jeweler. I found a beautiful, delicate rhinestone evening-watch a few months ago. It was far too big for my wrist, and badly needed a shining. I took it to my local jeweler, where they removed a few links and polished it up so it looked brand new. All in all, I think the watch + the maintenance cost me $30. Shout out to all the grandmas everywhere for making it possible to shop such chic vintage jewels, I will wear your clip ons with pride!!

Fall Fashion Finds

Judging by the abundance of pumpkin spice lattes and apple-orchard-selfies on my Instagram timeline, fall has arrived. Temperatures have even gotten cooler here in Nevada. I went from having to wear a bathing suit for survival to t-shirt weather, a major upgrade. But living in the desert has not deterred me from dreaming about scrumptious sweaters and turtlenecks so bulky, that they hide my hormonal chin breakouts. It will be another month-or-so before I start stocking up on boots and just about everything made of wool (upper lip would be drowning at the moment), but I wanted to get a head-start and share the best fall fashion trends, and my personal favorite finds, with all of you!

J. Crew French Girl Blazer

Blazers really made a comeback last fall, and don’t seem to be going anywhere fast. Gone is the formal undertone of the blazer, replaced with oversized, menswear inspired styles meant to be worn with t-shirts and over slip dresses. What was once a serious, masculine piece of clothing is now the pinnacle of every good wardrobe.  

I love the look of this one from J. Crew. It’s double-breasted and unstructured, giving it the ultimate cool, French girl vibe (hence the blazer’s name- kudos J. Crew). I’ve will live in this over a t-shirt and jeans, but I also love it over a lightweight sweater and bike shorts. YES! Bike shorts and blazers. Free blog name up for grabs.

*I found this blazer to be true to size. It’s naturally a little boxy and oversized.

J.Crew French Girl Blazer

$148

J. Crew French Girl Blazer

$148

Zara glitter turtlenecks

I’m a sucker for a good turtleneck. I think they’re the epitome of chic and looking put together. Also when I don’t feel like doing my hair, I can tuck it into the turtleneck, and no one has to know I didn’t have time to wash it because I stayed up all night thinking about Peter Kavinsky ( Calm down-he’s over 18. I checked.).

This turtleneck from Zara is a great basic, and sparkle was all over the runways for the season. Wear alone with jeans, skirts, or under another sweater or sweatshirt. Maybe on the one day in January that it dips below 50 degrees, I’ll wear mine with heavy white jeans and boots. Marking my calendar!!

Zara Metallic Turtleneck

$40

Zara Metallic Turtleneck

$40

Novelty/Fisherman Sweaters

A few weeks ago, “The Cut” mentioned that Harry from “When Harry Met Sally” would be their fall style icon, and I’ll never be the same. Meg Ryan definitely has peak 90’s style in the classic film, but it’s Harry who’s quietly serving me bulky sweater CHICNESS. Paired almost too-simply with just jeans and sneakers, it’s the fall uniform. This is a unisex look, ladies and gentlemen! Honestly there’s nothing hotter to me than a man in a big bulky sweater. I really never thought I would say that Billy Crystal is a style icon, let alone a sex symbol. 2018 is wild.

I tend to either buy my sweaters one size up, or even look around in the men’s department. A slightly over-sized fit is best for a cozier, cooler look.

Zara Metallic Argyle Sweater

$49

L.L. Bean Women's Signature Sweater

$99

J. CREW Men's Fair Isle Crewneck

$148

Zara Sequin Argyle Sweater

$60

WESTERN-INSPIRED BOOTIES

Listen- I get that no one wants to look like Jessie from “Toy Story”- I haven’t since I was 10-years-old at least. But cowboy boots are back and better than ever. Don’t take it so literally- we’re talking stylized versions of the Western-wear. Extreme pointed toes, ankle cuts, outlandish colors like bright white (my favorite) and red. They’re a perfect update for things already in your closet- jeans, dresses and mini skirts. “80’s Western” is big for the season, further proving that Pixar really was just LIGHTYEARS ahead (PUN! INTENDED!)

Topshop "Mission" Western Boot

$125

Halogen "Bergen" Bootie

$120

Who What Wear "Delilah" Bootie

$45

Sam Edelman "Brian" Booties

$160

Rad Plaid

A few years ago, I really wanted to be Cher Horowitz from for Halloween. I couldn’t find a plaid yellow skirt to save my life. Fast-forward to today, and I can walk into any Target and make a “Clueless” look for any day of the week. Plaid is back in a big way. Larger, exaggerated prints, mixing plaids by color and material. Tartan trousers, oversized coats in fresh colors, plaid nylon totes- I feel like a Golf icon and I’m all in.

To keep it modern, try mixing different colors of plaid, like with a scarf and blazer. My personal favorite is to mix by material. Sleek Tartan pants with a wool buffalo-plaid scarf. Will you look like a fool? As if!!!

Urban Outfitters Plaid Puffer

$125

Target, A New Day Sock Booties

$38

Urban Renewal Plaid Trousers

$69

Topshop Heavy Check Scarf

$40

Animal Print as a Neutral

I live for animal print. I don’t wear fur, so it’s the closest I’ll ever get to feeling like a cool a$$ jungle cat. I was thrilled to see it all over the runways, mixing different leopards and cheetahs, chic zebra trench coats and sultry snakeskin boots.

My favorite version is in the form of skirts. Having an animal print skirt can be a wonderful neutral in your wardrobe. Pair a brown and black cheetah-print midi with a turtleneck, white blouse, even one of those chunky sweaters mentioned earlier. Mix two different animal prints if you’re really feeling wild.

Pixie Market Silk Skirt

$90

And Other Stories Leopard Sweater

$99

Mango Snake Print Skirt

$80

Splendid "Carla" Bootie

$168

 
This Fall, jump in some leaves for me. Enjoy some cider and overdose on doughnuts. Wake up early and take a walk in the crisp fall air. This will be the first time in my life I don’t experience a Michigan fall or winter. Right now I’m feeling nostalgic, but I know come December, I’ll be pretty pleased when the only ice I’m scraping is off my frozen margarita, poolside. PERSPECTIVE!

The Shopping Rule That Put an End to My Impulsive Purchases

A few years ago, I was looking through my closet when I realized- I hated just about everything in there. Most of us have had this moment. It’s not that we truly have nothing to wear, it’s that we have nothing we WANT to wear. My closet was so chalk-full of items that it was an arm workout to go through it all (am I a fitness influencer now???). I stared at it all, seeing all the wasted dollars and credit card charges, and I started taking pieces out one by one. 4 garbage bags later, I knew I was still lacking that satisfaction of going in and effortlessly picking something out. Not one-offs, but clothing that could carry me through a multitude of events.

We all have the one-offs. Your friend calls you and tells you she has an extra ticket to the John Mayer concert (it’s still 2010 in my mind)! And in my totally sane brain, I convince myself there is not one thing in my closet that could impress the throngs of moody 18-year-olds in attendance. I go to the mall, find some perfect $25 tank top that will be the envy of a pre-pubescent crowd, and John Mayer, if a miracle happens. I wear it to the concert, get 1000 photos in it…and proceed to never wear it again. Repeat for a bridal shower. Repeat for a job interview. Repeat for another John Mayer concert (I went to a lot in youth- I’m not ashamed). I’m here to help you avoid the one-off, and possibly explore the psychological meaning behind needing something new for every occasion. Just kidding! I don’t have enough time in the world to get into that.

After my garbage bags full of my one-offs were donated, I sat down and made a list in my phone. A list of things I felt I needed to really create a “Capsule” wardrobe, a few items I would be happy to pull out and wear to work, to drinks, to run errands in. I think my original list was something like a great oversized blazer…nice black ankle boots…jeans I felt comfortable in and could wear causal or dressy… a tailored white blouse. I went for the basics, and I vowed I would not buy anything that wasn’t on my list.

A few months went by, and I truly bought almost nothing that wasn’t on that list. Every time I was tempted, I would ask myself if it was on my list, or conductive to my closet-building. 99% of the time, it was not, and I would put it back or exit out of the browser. If I were in “Game of Thrones”, I would be dubbed “Alexandra Ayaub, First of her Name, Queen of Adding to Cart”. It’s my favorite past-time, other than eating Macaroni and Cheese in bed and watching “Grey’s Anatomy” for the 100th time. My “Seattle Grace” nickname would be McCheesy, in case you were wondering.

Make a list every season, or as frequently/in-frequently as you need it- but be fully realistic about what it is that you need. I constantly hear from other women “I need dresses!” “I need more tops!”. Write it down when you think of it. When you are tempted to buy something, go back to your list. Is it on there? When we get sidetracked and spend our money on things we don’t really want or need, there’s nothing left for what we DO desire. I’m not saying other items don’t slip in every now and again. My AMEX knows the importance of a vintage beaded bag. But having a list helps us control those impulsive purchases, curbing our spending from being a free-for-all.

Here’s what my list looks like right now:

My list might take a few months to fulfill, and financially, a few might have to wait. But that means in the interim, I’m not buying other wasteful things to take their place. Not everything on the list needs to be expensive! That over-sized blazer on my original list? I found at Target for $25. I know for the loafers, I’ll spend a little more, because I want them to last forever. Just make sure whatever you find, you love, feel good in, and can wear it with other pieces you already own.

Ever since I started this exercise, I have been building a closet full of things I love, wear continuously, and I am actually saving money. We create “To-Do” lists all the time, to help us focus on what we need to get done, and feel accomplished when we’ve done so. Why not do the same with our wardrobes? 

Thanks to my list, I know EXACTLY what I’ll be wearing to my next concert (it won’t be John Mayer, ok!! …mostly because he’s not on tour)- and it won’t be a tank top that some 17-year-old ends up buying from Plato’s closet.

"Day to Night" is a Scam and I'm not Falling for It Anymore

I was addicted to magazines when I was growing up. I would spend hours flipping through my “Teen Vogue”, “Vogue”, “Cosmopolitan”, “Teen People” (R.I.P.)- and a resounding theme was “Take your outfit from day to night!”. Every issue, every season, there were new ways to take my pencil skirt and blouse from desk to daquiris (even as a 15-year-old, this was important to me even though I had no job nor could drink?). I consistently see it in publications today, swapping out ballet flats for a funky block heel, or a pendant necklace for some gaudy beaded thing. I quickly realized that now in my adult working life, I never once worried about taking my outfit from day to night- so why are magazines still so obsessed with it?

Don’t get me wrong- I’m obviously here for pieces that can be worn for multiple occasions and events, but that never quite seems to be the clear narrative. Here’s my theory: back in the 90’s, early 00’s, women were dressing more formally for work. Fashion and clothing weren’t as accessible as they are now, with the birth of fast fashion and online shopping. We’ve gotten so much more creative and expressive with “professional dress”. Most work places don’t enforce a formal dress code of suits, pencil skirts or dresses. And even if they do, what’s the problem with wearing those things out after work? It’s martinis with your messy friends, not the Queen.

To be perfectly honest, I don’t think “Day to Night” is as crucial to working women, because most “nights” consist of going home, taking our pants off, throwing on a face mask that will fix EVERYTHING, and watching last night’s shows while simultaneously exploring every crevice of the internet. Oh, and fighting the patriarchy, but that goes without saying. AM I RIGHT LADIES?

Men never have to worry about owning extra accessories or stuffing “a great, sassy belt!” into their work bags if a date is on the after-work agenda. They show up in the exact same thing they put on that morning, maybe putting on a little extra deodorant or checking for boogers. Why is there such a strong narrative that the clothes that women wear to work, aren’t acceptable for a drink that we probably desperately deserve?

Most women I know aren’t remotely interested in “Day to night!” unless it involves tips on how to take off our bras off through our shirts before we get in the door. We’re just fine in what we’re wearing, thank you very much. It’s all a ploy to get us to buy more things, and convince us that we need more to be more. I’m not falling for it anymore, and I’ll show up to dinner in the same thing I worked in all day. Not all heroes wear capes…but we will wear the same pants all damn day.

We Need to Talk About Paul Manafort's Wardrobe

I often dream about having an unlimited budget for clothes. The beautiful things I would buy…I would essentially dress like a rich woman lounging in the Hamptons, year-round. Well one of America’s least favorite (do we have favorites??) con-men, Paul Manafort, thanks to off-shore bank accounts, DID have an unlimited clothing budget. For the cool cost of 1.3 million dollars, he decided to look like a dollar store drug dealer. A garbage gangster. Clothes that scream “I’M RICH WORLD, CAN’T YOU TELL?!”. Tacky plaid blazers that looked more like Danny DeVito in “Matilda” than Nick Wooster. Snakeskin overcoats- which in reality was very clever, considering he really IS a traitorous snake. I love a good theme.

In an attempt to cover up my constant anxiety over the state of our country and its lack of leadership, I thought I would dissect a few pieces of Cheatin’ Paul’s lavish wardrobe.  I use the word “lavish” very loosely, because I really do believe this is the only wardrobe in the world that looks like it is from a Men’s Warehouse outlet sale, but for the cost of a large home. BEEP BEEP, HERE COMES THE FASHION POLICE (followed by the real police- enjoy prison, Paul!!)

THE OSTRICH JACKET- $15,000

When I first heard of this infamous ostrich jacket, I envisioned something grand, possibly with feathers and proper tails. What I didn’t expect, was the bomber jacket of 90% of taxi drivers- and even that’s offensive to hardworking taxi drivers everywhere. This man, who’s supposed to be the “best of the best”, was swindled into buying a coat that looked like every teenage “bad boy” in every movie, that hangs out behind the bleachers saying things like “do you always do what your parents tell you to?”. Honestly the sales associate that sold him this piece deserves our utmost respect, possibly even an award.

PYTHON COAT- $18,500 (LOL)

You know the saying “you look like a million bucks!”? This looks like a craigslist coat being advertised for an upcoming estate sale. I truly want to know where he intended to wear this, other than some underground speakeasy at 2am meeting with Ukrainians-actually this purchase totally makes sense now. Let’s carry on.

The Plaid Suits- $15,000

The boxy fit of these suits is a felony alone. You could fit four Jared Kushners in just one of these blazers. We could house a small family coming across the border under one of these, but honestly, they’ve already had it hard enough and shouldn’t have to endure any further trauma. Anyone who says that letting immigrants into the U.S. is horrific, hasn’t seen one of these suits. Next.

The Double Breasted Blazer- $$ unknown, but to be honest anything over $100 is too much for this

Remember that episode of “The Office”, where Michael accidentally wears a women’s suit? It seems that Paul got lost on his way to "Alan Couture" and ended up at an "Ann Taylor". Hillary wore it better. So did Michael Scott.

THE CASUAL WEAR- $48,500+

Paul Manafort’s casual wear is that of a dad that never shows up to his kids soccer games when he says he will. Poor kids, but it’s even sadder for the lizard used to make a $48,00 jacket, that looks like I pulled it from a bin at Mr. Alan’s.

While this was a fun exercise in fashion-policing someone who was wanted by actual police, let it serve as a reminder that every.single.voice.matters. I understand that Paul Manafort wasn’t an elected official, but he had a hand in electing someone who is. We get to choose the type of people that represent us as a country, in Washington, and in our own states and cities. The people that really make a difference, are us, the people. Oh, it’s also a lesson that money can’t buy taste. But I think we established that back at “Python coat”.  

Here's What to Buy From the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale: 2018 Edition!

It’s the most wonderful time of the year- no, not when the Home Depot Hot Dog stand puts up summer hours, but the other most wonderful time, The Nordstrom Anniversary Sale.

As I wrote last year, this sale is one of my favorite shopping events of the year. It’s NEW fall merchandise, on sale before it hits stores at full price. This was my first year not living in Michigan for the sale, so I let a few tears pass as I scrolled by delicious, heavy winter coats and cozy sweaters. I had to adjust what I was buying due to my change in climate (did you know even your fingers can sweat? ME EITHER!). I may have let a sweatshirt or two slip in there, but I am only human and a change in scenery cannot change me!

My purchases were carefully curated, and I’m sharing what I got, plus a few. I’m still in my period of (F)unemployment, so I had to shop responsibly  (somewhere, my husband is smiling reading this. Hi, Mike!).

ASTR The Label Button Front Midi Dress: $52.90 (After sale: $79)

This was the first item that caught my attention. The price was right, print is a perfect Fall-floral, and I love the vintage silhouette of it. It is a tad low cut, but I think the length and sleeve detail make it more Lady than Tramp (but if Tramp is your thing, I’m here for that too- women doing what they want 2018!!). The buttons from bust to hem make it possible to even wear this dress as a top. I wore it over jeans, unbuttoned from the hem to my waist and voila! Now you have a blouse and a dress! You’re welcome!

Transition this from summer to fall with sneakers or boots instead of sandals, or layered with a turtleneck or tee underneath.

NIKE Sportswear Rally Sweatshirt: $51.90 (After sale: $70)

The extent of my sweatshirt wearing now is slipping one on when Mike’s not home and I turn the AC down to 65. But this limited-time activity did not prevent me from adding this perfect pull-over to my collection.

The high-neckline allows this sweatshirt be a more refined, and less sloppy. If I didn’t live in the pits of hell, temperature-wise, I would pair with a midi skirt and sneakers come Fall. Until then, I’ll wear it in front of my freezer.

ASTR The Label Twist Front Bodysuit: $35.90 (After sale: $55)

I live for bodysuits. They’re easy to throw on, comfy and great for layering. I’m always looking for ones I can wear for going out, as it’s a one-stop-shop to a great outfit (well, you’ll need pants or something. Hopefully.).

This one from ASTR is a rich, metallic silver-grey, and will look great with black high-waisted pants or baggy jeans. The front-twist detail is extremely slimming, and it DOES have a snap closure. Let’s face it, there’s nothing worse than going to the bathroom and sitting naked in the stall, because you had to pull down your entire bodysuit. It's peak vulnerability. There is probably no other frequent-situation that makes me reevaluate my life and choices more. Snaps make this a sure purchase.

Rebecca Minkoff Koso Bootie: $99.90 (After sale: $149.95)

I have long been looking for a perfect white Western-inspired boot, but everything I found made me look like a Dollar-store version of Jessie from "Toy Story". They were either too tall or too pointy, and I looked more ready to two-step, not for two drinks.

These are the ideal heel-height for every day, a perfect shade of non-stark white. The low cut of this boot makes it much more accessible to wear with multiple pieces. White boots are a big-time accessory right now, and you can wear them with anything from flowy dresses, to mini skirts or jeans and an over-sized blazer. Just stay away from anything Fringe. You are Rodeo Drive honey, not a Rodeo Clown.

VANS Old Skool Sneaker: $42.90 (After sale: $64.95)

I love that Vans became not-just for the skater crowd, but a true cool-girl staple for women and men. It’s like the modern version my pink "Etnies" from 6th grade, but without the Happy Bunny sketches on them. THANK GOD FOR PUBERTY!

I immediately took to this updated-version of the plain black Vans. The body of the shoe is linen, giving it a great textured look. It’s a fresh take on a white sneaker, which goes with just about everything already in your closet. The gold-logo detail dresses it up a bit, making me feel like the COOL girl at the skate park, not the one riding by on her bike on the way to the Aquatic Center, kick board in tow.

Diptyque Mini Candle Set: $55 ($75 value)

This deal is the true reason I began stanning (linked that to the Urban Dictionary definition because there are sweet moms reading this) this sale in the first place. I put these in our bathroom, on my nightstand, just about anywhere in our apartment. They are small with a big impact, the scent will still fill any room. Don’t forget to de-wax them when you’re done! They make the perfect holders for Q-tips, earrings, or even a holder for dipping sauces, when everything else is in boxes and you’ve got sweet potato fries in the oven. SO I’VE HEARD!

They also make perfect gifts, but I’m feeling stingy this year so sorry friends! This one’s for me.

Dior Addict Lip Glow Set: $75 ($90 value)

I am the laziest when it comes to lip product. Yes, lip balm is essentially attached to my right hand, but when it comes to lipstick, I’m lazier than 7-year-old me during "T.G.I.F". on ABC (Why hasn’t  “Sabrina the Teenage Witch gotten her reboot yet? For another time.). That doesn’t stop me from owning about 20 lip colors, however! Old habits die hard, or in my case, they don’t die at all because I’M STILL BUYING THEM!

Dior Lip glow is the one lip product I use up, every time. I own 4 shades, and each one holds a special place in my heart and purse. It’s the easiest and most non-committal way to wear lip color. It moisturizes and enhances your lips natural color, while giving you a natural flush of perfectly pouty shades.

They can be expensive on their own- $34 a pop. But in this set, you get your choice of Lip Glow in Coral (my favorite for summer) or Pink (the OG), PLUS, a lip lacquer (a very light-weight lipstick with mega-shine and high pigment) and a mini lip-plumping gloss. This set is your introduction into the addiction of Dior Lip products and I’m so sorry but also, you’re welcome.

And in a dark turn: Thank you to this sale for distracting me from the world essentially being on fire! At least I have my sweatshirt to keep me warm. Happy shopping!

"Thanks! It's Vintage!"

I love vintage shopping. It gives me a such a high that sometimes I'm amazed it's legal. There's just something about finding that perfect piece that seems like it stuck around all these years just for you. 

But as someone old once said, "nothing worth having comes easy". The same can be said for vintage apparel. I have spent hours rifling through racks and racks of vintage clothes, with nothing to show for it but tired arms (clothes are heavy and I have chicken arms, ok?). I started vintage shopping when I was in high school, and over the years I have learned many lessons about what to look out for. And with the birth of online vintage shopping on sites like Etsy, my education has become even greater.  After having been burned by one-particular 60’s dress in 2010 (I’m not emotionally ready to explain that story yet), I have decided to share my tips with you all. Someone call Dua Lipa because here come the rules!!

1. SNIFF IT REAL GOOD

Vintage clothes can naturally have a musty smell. It's not your grandmas fault that she didn't know she had a “Reformation”-esque blouse sitting in her basement for 30 years. She was too busy handing you money under the table to care. Vintage clothing has that distinct scent, and sometimes it's fixable. However, sometimes it's not and LET ME TELL YOU FROM EXPERIENCE, you don't want to be the person at the party that smells like your Great Aunt Bertha’s attic. When you find a piece you like in-person, be sure to sniff it. Sniff it real good. If it has a faint scent, you can do the following:

•  Send it to the dry cleaner and be sure to tell them it's a vintage piece. Most places will be able to use a deodorizer. If it's any kind of fur coat, take it to a furrier to deodorize, too. 
• If you have a garage, hang it in there a for a few days. Sometimes if the piece is not that old (90's is apparently vintage now so that makes me 100 years old I guess), it just needs some fresh air.
•  Activated Charcoal. VERY CAREFULLY put some in a bowl and put the bowl and your garment in a plastic tub or storage bin, any container that will seal. Again, be careful because if you spill the charcoal, well then I can't help you and you'll  use my name like Voldemort. Leave them in the bin together for up to 10 days, and the charcoal will help absorb the smell.
•  Your freezer is your friend! The lowest shelf on our freezer is meant for meats. The other 3 shelves are all my clothes, it is my second closet. The coldness of the freezer can deodorize and sanitize your clothes. Seal your item up in a large Ziploc bag and let it sit there for a few days. One time, I forgot I put a vintage caftan in there and found it when I was taking out some burgers. Talk about mystery meat (please stay).

Be honest with yourself about the degree of the musty-scent. I bought a PERFECT 70's cocktail dress once, and I did notice that it was especially ~scented~. I tried everything to make it better, but every time I went to put it on, it made me smell like a 90-year-old chain smoker. Cigarette smells are nearly impossible to get out of clothes that have been sitting with it for years, so try to stay away. 

2. THE ROBERT MUELLER OF VINTAGE

When I find a vintage piece I love, I inspect that thing like the head of the F.B.I.. I go over every inch making sure there are no visible stains, marks, holes or rips. It's really a non-negotiable to me, there are so many pieces out there in great condition. Vintage doesn't have to mean dirty or sloppy, and brown spots or stains can take it there real fast. My only negotiable stain can be yellow spots on white articles of clothing, because I've found I can spot clean with Oxy Clean or Bleach. But honestly, I can barely remember to move my clothes from the washer to the dryer for 2 days so who has time for that? Make sure the clothes are clean and in excellent condition. Regardless, I always take whatever I buy right to the dry cleaner. Someone has worn these clothes before you! And it probably wasn't Audrey Hepburn, ok?

Some of my favorite vintage pieces! A mix from Lost & Found Vintage (Royal Oak), The Vintage Twin, and Etsy Stores:

My Soft Parade, Your Sweet Caroline, & Hungry Heart Vintage

3. VINTAGE IN THE NEW MILLENNIUM

Online Vintage is a whole new game. I do all of mine on Etsy and have found some incredible pieces. But since you can't touch, smell or try on your find first, you must be especially cautious 

• All great vintage Etsy sellers will give you exact measurements. The tag might say it's a size 8! But a size 8 in the 1950's might as well have been a 0. Take your own measurements and compare them to what they have listed. 
•  I always, always, always message the buyer to ask if the item has any smells or odors. I got a blouse once that I could smell through the packaging. Turns out they shared a space with a perfume factory, which made me smell like 10,000 flower arrangements dying. When you message the seller, you're safe for a refund if you get the item and it does in fact smell. It's just a security blanket, which I love because I still sleep with an actual security blanket. 27 YEARS YOUNG, BABY!
• Look at the seller’s reviews. People will say if they received an item that wasn't as described, and you can see how the seller responds. 

Try to pin down exactly what you’re looking for, to make searching easier. My favorite key searches are:

• Vintage white blouse
• Vintage eyelet blouse/dress
• Vintage 1960’s sundress/party Dress/cocktail dress
• Vintage beaded handbag
• Vintage circle skirt
• Vintage slip dress

Once you’ve found a potential winner, be sure to check if the seller has listed any stains or damage, and don’t be afraid to message if you’re unsure! I usually also put a filter on for just sellers in the  United States. I’ve had some issues before with customs and shipping that just weren’t worth it. So sorry Russia!! You’ll have to hold onto some great vintage wiggle dress AND the Pee Tape (#RELEASEIT!!).

Vintage shopping can be incredibly rewarding. Not only are you finding something original and supporting small business, but it’s a huge help to the environment. So to my future children, you can thank mommy later for her vintage- shopping addiction. Because of me and my 8 eyelet blouses, you’ll be able to see a polar bear and trees and stuff. Happy shopping! 

The Millennial's Guide to Wedding Dress Codes

Weddings have drastically changed in the last 20 years. We get married in barns, carry puppies as bouquets, we even dance down the aisle to Drake. But the biggest component that’s changed, that no-one seems to be talking about, is wedding dress codes. Dress codes are kind of like Voldemort. We don’t want talk about it, but we know it’s coming and we’re probably just going to wing it and hope for the best (RON!).

When you Google “Wedding Dress Codes”, you’re often left with the Emily-Post etiquette of "get your long, opera gloves on and shine up your spats". But in the last 20 years, even in the last decade, fashion has changed radically. Style has changed. We, as a society, dress more casually than ever. So the words “Black Tie” can be scarier than an avocado shortage. The old rules- they just don’t apply anymore. They’re outdated, out of style and frankly, confusing. I’m here to lay out, in the simplest way possible, what that dress code on a wedding invitation really means. So, sorry, Emily Post, take a seat (probably on a doily or something).

A QUICK NOTE:

When I mention a “cocktail dress”, I am speaking of a dress that falls above the knee and higher. It’s realistic to what what’s in stores today.  It is incredibly confusing to read online that you can wear cocktail length to a black tie wedding, but that it must be below the knee. Walking into a store today, most cocktail dresses are above the knee, and we’re usually left wondering if this friend is really that important to us, and if we should just send a gift, stay home and binge GoT instead. A lot of other “guides” are probably going to contradict what I am saying. But they all seem to just be repeats of one another, stemming from years back. I am writing this guideline based on what fashion is now, and what you would find in a store today, not 20 years ago.

BLACK TIE

If you get a wedding invitation that says Black Tie, not followed by “optional”, or “preferred”, these people are not messing around. You have probably been invited to a Socialite’s wedding, so good for you, social climber! 

Women: Floor length dress, preferably some sort of gown. You basically need to act like you are going to Beyonce’s house for dinner. Or you’re Elizabeth Taylor on her way to the supermarket. Have some fun with this! It’s rare to get this dressed up, let it be fun. (*Dresses aren’t your thing? Do a chic tux look). 

*I don’t know one woman with a closet full of gowns. I have three black tie weddings this year alone, and for that, I have enlisted Rent The Runway. Their StylePass has saved my closet and wardrobe. $65 a month, 3 month commitment (doesn’t have to be in a row, you can skip months), and you can rent ANY dress on the site. A lot of formal dresses on the site rent for over $200 + shipping+ insurance. With StylePass, you get it for $65, free shipping & insurance and a free backup size. You’ll look incredible and your wallet will too.

Men: A Tuxedo. Don’t fear a cummerbund, you can skip it for suspenders, which looks WAY cooler when you take off your jacket to show everyone you've memorized the "Single Ladies" dance. Or to have less restriction when eating cake. Whatever you’re into! 

BLACK TIE PREFERRED/BLACK TIE OPTIONAL

My own wedding invitation requests “Black Tie Preferred”. Why? Because it’s what our venue caters to...that and I get dressed up to go to the CVS. What did you expect from my wedding? Black Tie Optional/Preferred gives you a little more wiggle room. In most cases, the hosts just don’t want you showing up in your club dress, ladies, or khakis, gentlemen. This is the cooler, more lenient sister to Black Tie.

Women: Floor length or tea-length dresses. Cocktail dress, not quite appropriate here. “But Alex!! It has rhinestones on the collar!”. How Nice! Not here. Your dress should be below your knee and under. * I want to specify that gowns do not have to be big, tulle-filled affairs. And a floor-length dress, does not mean a Massimo from Target Maxi. Look for fabrics like chiffon, silk, or crepe. It can be chic without being debutante.

Men: Surprise! You don’t have to wear a tux (you don’t have to shave your legs and NOW this?!). It’s smart to own one-you can get a beautiful tux for around $200-$280 at most stores-, but in this situation, you can get away with a nice dark suit and tie. I love your chic khaki linen suit as much as the next gal (you guys are doing amazing, sweetie), but if your girl is in a gown, be the man candy she deserves.

FORMAL

Formal is very tricky. It’s like a good Tinder date. You don’t REALLY want to commit to the full thing (Black Tie), but you still want it to be nice. It’s that in-between space between Black Tie and Cocktail, which leaves you with a goody-bag of options. 

Women: Remember the Britney Spears hit “Not a Girl…Not Yet a Woman”? When you get an invitation that reads “Formal”, think of this song. It’s not QUITE a gown, but not quite a cocktail dress. You can do floor-length, but tea-length, midi (hits around lower calf-area), at or just above the knee is more standard. But just like my principal in middle school used to say “Above the knees, detention, Alex!!” Okay, it’s not that serious. Or maybe it is, some Brides are wild.

Men: Again, you have it very easy. A tux is not needed here. Wear a nice suit and tie. Black, blue, navy, midnight blue, it all works! Bonus points for a cool pocket square.

COCKTAIL

TAKE THAT, PRINCIPAL! It’s time to show off those gorgeous knee caps of yours, ladies! Cocktail is one of the easier-to-understand-dress codes, as who doesn’t like cocktails?! Cocktail is the chill, younger cousin of Formal that just came home from a semester abroad. Isn’t she the coolest?

Women: At or above the knee dresses are standard. Chances are you probably already have a great cocktail dress hanging in your closet. Change it up from wedding-to-wedding with different hair, makeup, and shoes. If dresses are not your thing (very chic of you), I’ve worn nice pants, heels, and a beautiful top to a cocktail wedding.

Men: You can have a little fun here. You should still wear a suit, but you can play around with different fabrics and styles. Linen, Khaki suits, bright blue- go to town!!...as long as that's where you get your suits from. 

CASUAL/DRESSY CASUAL

This wedding is most likely in the day-time, which is considerate, because it will give me more time to recover from the 3 glasses of champagne that it takes to give me a hangover!

Women: Take your cue from the bride. She will probably be in a more casual-style of wedding dress. Cotton sundresses, linen midi skirts and a blouse, flowy silhouettes- you can have some freedom with this. I hope it goes without saying no shorts, t-shirts or tank tops. If not, message me privately. I’m here for you.

Men: Nice Slacks and a button-down shirt. You poor, poor things.

Weddings are supposed to be joyous, exciting occasions. Too often they can be dampened by confusing dress codes and even-more confusing guides online. Still have questions? Here’s a few guidelines to follow, for any dress code:

1. If you know the Bride, think about what she will be wearing, and what her bridesmaids will be wearing. You don’t want to be fancier than the wedding party. If the bridesmaids are in long dresses, you probably will want to be, too. The bride is going for Bohemian Chic, barefoot with a flower crown? Your cute Anthropologie dress is a winner. Adapt to the wedding and its hosts, they will always be the perfect indicator of what the attire will be.

2. There's a lot of crossover between different dress codes when it comes to dress length (even in the photos I used, most of those dresses cross into each other's category). If you are still frazzled by it, pay attention to the fabric and style of the dress, and how you're going to accessorize. 

3. Take the venue into account- this is for Brides and guests! If you want to get married at a rustic, 100-year old chicken farm, you can’t expect your guests to come in tuxedos and gowns. Cater the dress code to the venue, so that everyone is comfortable and content.

4. DON’T WEAR WHITE. DON’T EVER WEAR ALL WHITE. Unless the Bride is cool like that and requests it. I’ve been to so many weddings where women show up in white gowns. Don’t be that girl. Be the girl that slams 5 slices of late-night pizza and then leads the Wobble. We like that girl.

5. Don’t take it so seriously. Yes, with all these “rules”, it can seem very intimidating to attend a wedding. Don’t be afraid of getting it wrong. The bride is just happy to have you there, if she’s not a total bridezilla. Your dress, or suit, will not make or break the couple’s day. Getting too drunk and knocking over Grandma? That might make or break it. I don’t suggest it.

Don't worry, Emily- you'll always have napkin folding and fork placement.

* All photos from renttherunway.com

Here's What to Buy From The Nordstrom Anniversary Sale

The Nordstrom Anniversary Sale is one of my favorite holidays. I have even gone as far as to take a vacation day from work on the first day of the sale. I’M NOT PLAYING AROUND HERE! It’s one of the greatest sales of the year, because it’s not on old, bottom-of-the-barrel-merchandise. It’s the beautiful, new, shiny things for Fall, offered at a discount. Every year, I do my research. The second that catalog hits my mailbox, I study it. I strategize. I hydrate. And when sale day comes, I’m ready to rage.

In the past year or so, I have really been trying to pull the reins in on my shopping (do not ask Mike if he agrees). I make fewer, more careful & calculated purchases, as I’m trying to build a closet based on quality, not quantity. So for this year’s sale, I’m doing the leg work ( PUN INTENDED BECAUSE I’M DOWN A LEG RIGHT NOW) for you, and have carefully curated the best things to buy- just ask my Nordstrom card.

 

Chelsea28 Pleated Velvet Skirt- $52.90 (normally $79)

As soon as I saw this in the catalog, I knew it was going to be the piece-of-the-sale. There’s always that one piece that sells out on the first day, even in the first hours. Last year it was a Green DKNY Utility Parka. I was online at exactly midnight, adding to cart- I told you, this is not a game. This skirt is even better in person. It’s like Gucci, when Gucci was Gucci (who have I lost here?). Velvet is a YUGE trend for Fall, and this skirt is the perfect way to ease into it without looking like your Grandma’s Casino tracksuit. The color is a gorgeous yellow-gold. It will pair perfectly with a tee, oversized sweaters, a leather jacket, etc. Highly recommend sizing up- the waistband is not friendly after a mostaccioli bender (I’m looking at you, grad parties).

WAYF Satin Pajama Top- $45.90 (normally $69)

Pajama shirts have been around for a few seasons now, and I have no complaints. I will wear anything that allows me to feel like I could sleep at any moment, but also look good in public. When I originally saw this online, I had it in my cart and decided not to go through with it. I really am trying to be careful! HOWEVER, when I went into the store, I couldn’t believe it was the same shirt I saw online. 1000% better in person. It is the ideal pink-pajama shirt. Just pink enough, so that I don’t look like I’m in some kind of doll-matching Pajama from American Girl Doll. The lapel is gorgeous and chic, and I can’t wait to wear it half-tucked into some jeans, under a sweater, or for travel. YES, for travel. I plead with the people, please wear anything but your sweats and Volleyball t-shirt from 2008. True to size. 

ASICS Gel Running Shoe- $119 (normally $159)

I live for my Asics. Once, when I was in the gym, some snotty teenager told me she liked my "dad shoes”. I don’t think she was expecting me to take it as a compliment, but dad-things are very on trend (otherwise my nightly Jeopardy habit and bad puns are in…jeopardy.) These are by far the most comfortable tennis shoes I have ever owned. They are perfect for exercise, or a solid Sunday-brunch athleisure look. They feel like you’re walking on a cloud, even if you’re just walking to the neighborhood Taco Bell. I recommend going a half size up.

The beauty buys are where it's AT this year. Nordstrom really stepped up their game, and I came to play (do I need a hobby?).

Evian Facial Water Spray- $21 (normally $46)

Do you want to feel like Meredith Blake, poolside, from "The Parent Trap"? If you don’t, go re-watch the movie and reassess. That’s what this spray does. It makes you feel like a refreshed, riche, together person. Who knew spray could be more helpful than my therapist? This deal is insane- six for $21. I keep one in my purse, and always in my carry-on for travel. Not to mention my beach bag- who’s that famous girl spraying EVIAN on herself at the pool? Oh, it’s YOU!

Kiehl’s Jumbo Creme de Corps Body Lotion- $52 (normally $75-$96)

I am addicted to Crème de Corps, which I think is French for “you will literally feel like a corpse without with lotion”, right? It’s incredibly hydrating, and leaves skin smooth and glowy. This bottle is the size of a small child, with less commitment! It will last me about an entire year, and the pump is KEY to assure I use it everyday. A solid investment in your skin.

Nars Velvet Matte Lip Pencils- $59 (normally $110)

These are my ride-or-die lipsticks. I'm horrible at lipstick. It always ends up all around my mouth, and not in a cool, ironic way. I look like I went face deep into a burger after applying a nice summer coral. These could not be any easier, or longer lasting. They glide on like a dream, the application is easy and precise. I own multiple colors, and am always adding to my collection. There's two colorways you can chose from- if this is your first experience with the pencils, go with the "Tribulation" set. Pencil Pro? "Mustang" is calling your name. 

Diptyque Mini Candle Set of 5- $55 (normally $75)

THIS IS THE MONEY RIGHT HERE! I really may have saved the best for last. When I saw these last year, I had to do a double take. FIVE mini Diptyque candles?! These babies prove that size ISN'T everything (oh, hi mom!). Just one of these will fill your entire home with their delicious scent. These also make the perfect gifts- if you can bear to part with even one. If I've given you a "Feu de Bois" mini, you know it's real. Don't forget to fulfill your Tumbler dreams by de-waxing these when you're done! They make for the perfect canisters for Q-tips, perfume samples, even a shot glass. Don't knock it till you've tried it. 

And there you have it! My heart, and Nordstrom card, runneth over. I've come a long way! A few years ago, the only "runneth over" I was doing was over some pre-teen for Michael Kors boots. Raise your Diptyque shot glass, here's to progress! 

Pink is the New Prozac

Here we are, in that deep, depth of Winter when it seems like we are just as far into it, as we are from getting out. Cold, icy temps, dirty sloshy snow covering the sidewalks. Every day seems like a scene from “Frozen” (and not the cool, singing parts. Just the shit weather). Yup- seasonal depression is in full swing. It may be vain, but during this period, I make it through with little pick-me-ups. A mascara here, a coffee before work, etc. My bank account may hate me but my soul is (possibly falsely) nourished. But recently, I found the holy grail of all mid-winter pick-me-ups. Hear me out:

During this time of year, I do notice one thing: I am in all black, all the time. Constantly sifting through a pile of black clothing, looking for that same black turtleneck, black jeans and of course, black socks to go with my black boots. Its become routine, and frankly, it’s a little boring. This winter, I decided to challenge myself and brighten my mood by brightening my wardrobe. I wanted one universal piece I could throw on my "Wednesday Adams" inspired looks.

Enter, the Pink Coat.

I'm going to need everyone to stop saying “I have too many coats!!!”. No- there is no such thing. When you live in Michigan (any other cold-weather state applies here), your coat is your wardrobe, and quite literally your outfit most days. I am sitting in a Starbucks right now, black turtleneck, black sweats and PINK COAT. There’s no way I was going to come out in this blistering weather and not flex on these high schoolers ordering hot chocolates- and all it took was one, simple piece. A pink coat is the new staple, and instant outfit brightener, a fool-proof way to look like you know what you’re doing. It’s the thing you need to get you through these next few months, and the options are much, much cheaper than a therapist.

Because I believe that "more is more and less is a bore" (Iris Apfel, my idol)- I have two options I can throw on over just about any outfit: a pink faux fur from J.Crew, and a wool pea coat I got in Ireland.

For warm, wool coat, I recommend finding something in the lighter, or “Millennial Pink (Glossier did it first tho)” range. It looks expensive, chic and well put-together.

If you're a little more adventurous (or in my case, fashionably obnoxious), opt for a bright, faux fur version. There is no way to be basic in a pink faux fur, it is instant FASHUN.

Consider pink your new base. It can be worn with black, white, red, blue, stripes, pajamas, sweats- YOU NAME IT. This is the easiest cure for mid-winter outfit ruts.

Here's a few options to get you through these next few months (let's face it, Winter goes until April. Don't live in denial).

Topshop Biker Jacket (on sale for $99!)

Style Nanda Pink Overcoat with Strap Detail, Asos ($264)

Via Spiga Faux Fur Coat (on sale for $139!)

Improve your mood, update your wardrobe, and make sure that when you inevitably end up in some 9th grader's Snapchat background at aforementioned Starbucks, you will STAND OUT.

Photos by: Ava Ranger

Good Jeans: Madewell

In a recent bender of "Laguna Beach", Season 3, I learned two things: in the early 2000's, True Religion was indeed a religion, and jeans were king. It got me thinking- I hardly ever wear jeans. And if I'm not wearing jeans, what the  $^!@ am I wearing all the time?

I am a notorious non-jeans wearer. The main reason being I hate shopping for them, and the way I look in them. I'm petite- 5 ft nothing. Every time I go to try on a pair of denim, I find myself mopping the fitting room floor with 3ft of extra fabric. Flare jeans? I look like a platypus. Capri-cut? On me- Boot Cut. It's incredibly discouraging, and a major blow to my self-confidence. 

This year, jeans reign supreme once again. Adorned with kitsch-y patches, intricate destruction, and un-finished hems, I found myself feeling left out, so I went shopping. Endless hours in fitting rooms, trying on styles that were too long, too tight and too expensive. Almost accepting my defeat, a group of girlfriends guided me to Madewell. I had always assumed Madewell was for tall, lanky girls, that like to shop at Whole Foods, listen to Vinyl and do hot yoga for fun (aka- girls way cooler than me). With nothing left to lose, I let a kind Madewell employee pick out some styles for me and corral me into a fitting room- and the rest is history. 

I tried on a few pairs of skinny jeans, and while they were undeniably good, I was looking for something different. This is the great thing about Madewell- styles that are on trend, and work on ladies 5'10 to 5'0. I walked out with three pairs that day- I even cleared out a drawer for my new collection (for comparison- I dated my Fiance for 4 years before I gave him half a drawer). 

The Cali-Demi Boot Cut

My favorite pair- it's been my go-to since I got them. The little "kick-hem" effect is perfect with my sneakers, even better with ankle boots that disappear under the unfinished hem. They're the ultimate cool-girl jean, with a universally flattering shape.  I love these in black, with an oversized sweater, or silk tank and leather jacket. 

BONUS: Madewell hems their jeans FOR FREE. This is usually a major expense for me, as 100% of my jeans have to be altered.

Cruiser Straight Jean

The comfiest jeans in the game. I've tried high-waisted jeans before. My Sophomore year of college, I stocked up on a bunch of cheap jeans where the waistband literally sat under my bra. Coincidentally, the extreme high-waist made me not notice that all the pizza and beer did NOT in fact disappear with my hangovers. On the Cruiser, the waist is just high enough, and the straight leg is a wonderful departure from the typical skinny-leg. Not to be confused with the Stanky-leg (still doing physical therapy as a result of that era). I love the lana wash- not too light, not too dark, just sheer denim perfection. 

9" High-Rise Skinny

I figured I needed a staple-skinny jean in my arsenal. I typically stay away from skinny jeans, because they remind me of Delia's t-shirts and Etnies- circa 8th grade. However, Madewell has made skinny jeans cool again, with a leg that's not so skin tight, but skims the leg beautifully and comfortably. In another incredible feature Madewell offers, I got these monogrammed for just $10 bucks. You can get just about anything on your jeans, and while my first choice isn't appropriate for the 18-and-under audience, I decided to do a little self-promotion with mine. Other than FREE HEMMING!!, this may be my favorite feature from Madewell. It's a simple, personal touch to elevate your clothes. 

Although i'm on a strict wedding budget- I have my eyes on a few new styles. I can go without groceries for a month, no?

 

Cali-Demi Boot in Donovan Wash

Reworked Perfect Fall Jean

The Slim Boyfriend Jean

I always thought jeans to be unnecessarily expensive, until I found the right ones. They are absolutely worth the investment, because of your cost-per-wear. I've worn each pair at least once a week since I got them, and they have yet to stretch out, fade out or give out. 

If you're like me, entering the fitting room with jeans is about as daunting as your gynecologists waiting room (Does everyone think I'm pregnant?!). But Madewell offered me a safe haven in my quest for jeans, with not just wonderful product, but exceptional customer service. Not only did they help me build on my wardrobe, but they have saved my legs from a lifetime of cold, leggings as pants, and best of all-razors. 

Step Aside, LBD.

Everyone knows that an LBD (Little Black Dress) is a staple to a well-rounded closet. But in the Summer months, I try to stay away from the dark section of my closet, which is tough, because that's a good 3/4 of it. I tried a LRD, little red dress, but it felt too dressy for daytime. I tried a LGC- a little grilled cheese, but was still hungry after. BESIDES THE POINT, but I'm getting there. It finally hit me that I had go-to dresses in just about every color except one- white. I became obsessed with finding an LWD, and this Halogen one from Nordstrom (similar here) was the answer to my prayers (can we work on this whole presidential mess/race inequality/home depot hot dog stand-hours now, God??). 

Your LWD is as versatile as any other go-to in your closet. For this look, I paired it with some Sorel sandals (yes, SOREL. Like "winter boots we're not ready to think about" Sorel) and a Glossier pink pouch, which Mike asked me if it was an accident that I was holding it in these photos. MEN. 

This is not only a lesson in expanding our closet staples, but in alterations as well. When I got this dress, it was about 3- inches too long and gaped out under my arms. However, I knew it was nothing a seamstress couldn't fix. She was able to tailor it to perfection, and I felt like a regular ol' Kimmy K having something tailored right to my body. But then later when I couldn't afford double meats on my Subway I was put back in my place. STAY GROUNDED. 

The brocade detail on this dress and the neckline gives it a solid 60's vibe, super easy for dressing up and down.  I'll wear this again with a jean or leather jacket, flats, or even a t-shirt underneath.

This dress is a staple, which means it's meant to be built upon and worn different ways. 

Try subbing your LBD for one of these LWDs below, and give your closet a little TLC. I'm out of abbrevs here thankfully. 

                     Leith Stretch Tank Dress: Nordstrom ($68)

                                                       ASOS Off The Shoulder Mini Dress- Asos ($25)

                                                                            ASOS White Shirt Dress- Asos ($89)

Not Your Grandma's Dress (but maybe her blanket).

I am always buying things to "run around in". Seriously- I probably justify a good 90% of purchases because "I'll look cute while running errands!". However, I usually end up in my yoga tights and "Karl is my Father" sweatshirt (that one always brings in smart remarks from old folks). However, with this dress from Zara, I'm sticking to my word. 

When I first saw this crochet mini, my initial thought was that it's the perfect mix between a mexican blanket and something my Grandma used to have at the foot of her bed. In other words, ALL THE MAKINGS FOR MY DREAM DRESS! Not to mention, it finally incorporates a little color into my wardrobe. I was one black and white sweater away from professional Miming. 

The lightweight comfort of this dress is selling point enough, but when your roommate stops to tell you her grandma has a similar quilt..to the front of my closet you go, blanket-like beauty.

Paired with sneakers and an old Chanel-my dad gave it to my mom in the eighties, and knowing him, it's most likely not real, but still fun!-, this combo is perfect for running around (for real this time), and not having to make a lame excuse when a friend texts for impromptu drinks mid errands (I'm on a detox girl!!!!). 

If you happen to run into me about town (you can find me every Sunday at the butcher choosing the perfect chicken breast- "NO LARRY- THE FAR LEFT ONE. OTHER LEFT.") and I'm still in my yoga pants, with no signs of actually working out, take me outside. Really- I need help loading my car. 

The Slip

It took me a long time to get on board with "lingerie dressing". I'm still bitter at the Victoria's Secret sales lady that showed me a bra when I was 7 and said, "just a few more years until you need one of these!!". I am pretty positive she cursed me "Sleeping Beauty" style, because it's 18 years later and I'm still waiting to really need one (let's be honest).

However, my belief system changed when I saw Vetements S/S '16. After seeing the most insanely gorgeous slip dress, I started seeing them as a sexy staple, instead of chincy and sleazy (and not in the good, party Ke$ha way). 

             Slip Dress: Uniqlo (similar here) // Sleeveless turtleneck: Asos (similar here) // Pink Pouch: Glossier packaging FTW. 

Here's the thing: a slip dress (or camisole dress) can go from simple and chic, to after-hours at Déjà Vu REAL QUICK. So how do you avoid looking like you just ran away from a bad rap video? Layers. Try pairing with a sleeveless turtleneck like I did here, a bodysuit, tee-shirt, or even an oversized sweater over it for a silk-skirt effect. My new dinner go-to is to pair mine with a lacey bralette, delicate necklaces and an oversized trench. 

                                             (Blogging requires a lot of walking.. does this count towards my daily steps?)

The key is to not look like you're wearing the slip dress by mistake when you woke up late from binge watching "Love It or List It" all night (SPOILER: THEY NEVER LIST IT.) They're effortless, versatile, and undeniably sexy.

If anything, slip dresses are the ultimate excuse to abuse the saying "Let me SLIP into something more comfortable". It's my most used pun at the moment, and also probably why my boyfriend is screening my calls. Looking good and feeling powerful (and having fire puns) might just be worth it. 

Pants-A-Make-Her-Dance

In 2006, I frequently posted statuses of " You Must Not Know 'Bout Me", as I was obsessed with Beyonce's "Irreplaceable". I was 15- what didn't "you" know 'bout me? That my mom was home making me pizza rolls, or that I had 4 more freeway-hours to log for my permit? 

It was also around this time that gauchos were a thing, and I had always assumed I was too short for the flowy silhouette. Now in 2016, we brought back a version of the gaucho, and called it a culotte. Older and wiser, I disregarded my previous rule and snagged a pair at Club Monaco (similar here, and a ton on sale!), and I am forever changed. 

But Alex!! I'm short!! JOIN THE CLUB, SISTERS! Culottes are universally flattering, because the wide silhouette tends to slim and streamline the leg. Culotte hems can fall anywhere from the knee to mid-ankle. 

Forewarning: alterations may be necessary based on your height. Clothes are not meant to fit everyone perfectly: 

a good seamstress is the pinnacle of your wardrobe.

This Club Monaco pair was fine, but my other pairs I've had to shorten an inch or two- sometimes you gotta work for it. 

Don't worry about culottes being too "trendy", they're more of a staple to a chic wardrobe than a trend. Cardinal rule on trends: once something becomes one, it's usually already on the way out. Just always buy what you like and know you'll wear for years to come. 

Welcome your new party pants with open arms and hangers, pair them with just about anything (use the same rules as blue jeans or black pants), and get ready for Culotte-s of fun (I'm sorry. I knew I couldn't get through this post without a pant pun)!!! 

March (Metallic) Madness

There are countless articles in countless magazines telling you what staples you MUST HAVE to form your closet. While I can get down with the black slacks and a tailored jacket, that does not a wardrobe make. Sometimes you need to spice it up a bit, and for that, you need a new staple: say hello to metallic skirts. 

Thanks to Gucci, metallic skirts are becoming just as much a staple as a good white button-down, or in non-fashion terms, what cocktail sausages are to a good party. STAPLE. 

Metallic skirts are basically the Bernie Sanders of the closet. Loud, sensible, and always a smart choice. (Am I still talking about skirts here? #Berndownforwhat). 

Skirt: Vintage Christian Dior from The Peacock Room. Sweater: Uniqlo. Shoes: Asos

Your new skirt is just as handy as a pair of blue jeans. Pair it with an oversized sweater, a basic tee, sneakers, heels, even a crop top or bandeau in the summer. I've found midi-length and pleated work best with metallics. If you go mini and solid, you run the risk of looking like a girl who's lost at the festival just looking for a bathroom and a vodka redbull. 

A few no-fail options below: 

 

Topshop Metallic Pleated Skirt, $130 (Nordstrom)

Pleated Midi Skirt, $69.90 (Zara)

Asos Pleated Midi Skirt with Metallic Foil, $60 (Asos)

If you haven't already, you're going to be seeing metallic skirts everywhere, and trust me, you want in on this trend. GRANTED, I also said the same thing about those one-size stretchy sweaters in middle school, but I promise I've learned from that, and am much more credible now. 

Photos by Lauren Montgomery at the Belle Isle Conservatory.

A Little Shoulder, A Long Way

When I first became infatuated with fashion, it was all about fun. I would mix my oversized Tweety Bird tee, ruffle socks and jellies and would not even think twice that my outfit wasn't on POINT and that I wasn't flexing on my fellow first-graders. 

But as you get older, you are just beginning to scratch the surface of becoming who you want to be, and you can get very easily influenced by friends, trends and in my case, whatever they were wearing on The O.C. (Marissa Cooper is still my style icon). 

I've gone through so many style lives, and still do from day-to-day. However, the biggest lesson I've learned over the years is that sexy does not mean one thing. It does not always mean short skirts (re: college pics), low cut tops (re:re: college pics) and un-walkable heels. It can be covered up, it can be baggy, and it can even be a little silly. 

Enter: This Shirt. 

I love the silliness of the culotte, but the undeniable sexiness of an exposed shoulder. The perfect union of covered/uncovered. 

We shot these in Florida on vacation-AKA a trip made so I could wear this shirt sooner.

In college, I presumed that the more skin I showed, the sexier I was. But I never actually felt sexy, and I really still don't a good 99% of the time. But trust me when I say a little shoulder goes a long way. I remember wearing mentioned Tweety Bird shirt in first grade, and being told on by a male classmate because my shoulder was showing. Well, eat your heart out, John*

*Name has been kept exactly the same. Not afraid to call him out 19 years later.

In the Jungle

The top item I have been in search of for the past few years is a faux- fur leopard coat. I grew obsessed when my grandma out-chic'ed me in one in 2009 (never forget). I searched high and low, but couldn't find one that didn't look like I sewed together a bunch of stuffed animals from a bowling alley arcade. 

This past October, I stumbled upon the perfect match in TopShop in Las Vegas. Fueled by one-too-many bloody marys, I didn't hesitate to make it mine, and it has been a staple in my wardrobe ever since. 

The absolute best thing about faux fur coats is that they instantly take any outfit to the next level. I've worn mine over cropped black pants and a white blouse, and hours later over a sports-tee and destroyed denim (that pairing seemed to really resonate with a man in a Gucci bucket hat at a basketball game). 

I know Spring is on the horizon, but right now may be the most opportune time to buy. Most stores have their coats on sale, and if you've been keeping track of the F/W '16 shows in New York, you'll see that next season will have no shortage of leopard love. 

Via Spiga Faux Leopard Fur Topper- Was $270, now $179.90 (Nordstrom) 

 

Faux Fur Coat in Leopard- was $137, now $83 (Asos)

The Kooples Leopard Print Faux Fur Jacket- was $575, now $287 (Stylebop)

The biggest apprehension I hear about Faux Fur is that it's "too much" for every-day wear. I say -GOOD. Be too damn much. Be larger than life every chance you get. Wear this coat to the theatre, then to the grocery store. Wear it over a cocktail dress, then joggers and a white-tee. Never be afraid to be too much. It is far, far better than being too little (I'm 5ft tall- trust me on that one). 

Shot by Lauren Montgomery at the Belle Isle Conservatory in Detroit. 

Photo editing by Leah Cranston.